Wannabe actress Dani Steele’s résumé resembles a cautionary tale on how not to be famous. She’s pushing thirty and stuck in a dead-end insurance job, and her relationship status is holding at uncommitted. With unbearably perfect sisters and a mother who won’t let her forget it, Dani has two go-tos for consolation: maple scones and a blog in which she pours her heart out to her celebrity idol. … idol. He’s the man her father never was, no boyfriend will ever be—and not so impossible a dream as one might think. When Dani learns that he’s planning a fund-raising event where the winning amateur athlete gets a walk-on in his new film, she decides to trade pastries and self-doubt for running shoes and a sexy British trainer with adorable knees.
But when Dani’s plot takes an unexpected twist, she realizes that her happy ending might have to be improvised—and that proving herself to her idol isn’t half as important as proving something to herself.
* * *
This is a work of fiction. While Dwayne Johnson p/k/a The Rock is a real person, events relating to him in the book are a product of the author’s imagination. Mr. Johnson is not affiliated with this book, and has not endorsed it or participated in any manner in connection with this book.
more
Audible Review
Overall 3 out of 5 stars
Performance 4 out of 5 stars
Story 3 out of 5 stars
It took me awhile, but I ended up enjoying it.
I’m going to give this an overall 3.5*, and round up to 4* on GR and Amazon.
Like my headline says, it took me awhile to finish this one- I started it very early in the year but just wasn’t feeling it so I put it aside. Over the weekend I decided I wanted to start 2020 with a clean slate- either finish the couple of audiobooks I’ve had lingering, or close them out as dnf. And I have to say, I’m actually glad I jumped back into this one.
I’m not sure if I wasn’t in the right head space when I started this book, or if it really was a tale of 2 halves, but I do know I liked the last few hours a lot more than the first half / 3/4. It was a really fun premise, but it just seemed to take too long to get where it was going. When it finally did, that’s when I was able to fully enjoy it.
There was a lot going on in the book- with Dani’s job, her training for the big event, her crush on her trainer, Howie, the unresolved feelings about her dad, her family relationships, the hacking of her blog, and most of all, her *obsession* with Dwayne Johnson. But Ms. Gordon did a nice job of weaving everything together in an entertaining way. After the rough start, I really did end up liking Dani’s story and how everything worked out.
I enjoyed the narration by Carly Robins. She gave an entertaining perfomance and really had me invested in Dani’s life by the end of the story. She did a good job with all the different voices, although I don’t think anyone could do justice to Dwayne Johnson, other than Dwayne Johnson!
I read this in one weekend. Hilarious.
This story is smart and funny, witty and touching and completely entertaining.
Dani, Danielle Steele-with an e, has been obsessed with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson ever since she was a young girl. She starts training for a competition who’s prize is a chance to meet and work with The Rock.
“So you need to make a commitment, right here, right now. Everyone has a story. You just have to decide how you want the next chapter to be written.”
Dani observes and records everything and the only thing she doesn’t see is just how special she is.
Dear Dwayne, With Love is a marvelous slow burn (close door, fade to black but not lacking in swoon) romance.
“Seriously, what is the point of a relationship anyway? You find someone you don’t want to murder, and you marry them because you’re afraid your biological clock is going to leak battery acid all over the stash of eggs you were born with?”
-5 Stars!-
Loved her witty character; we all know someone similar to Dani
Move over DJ, and hello, Miraculously Beautiful Marco.
Eliza Gordon has another winner on her hands with her quirky leading lady, Danielle Steele with an e. Add in her zany family, friends and co-workers, blossoming feline-fish interpersonal relations between Hobbs the depressed goldfish and a wacky little tabby kitten named Aldous, plus Danielle’s new weird, funny-shaped, sweaty gym family that have adopted her into their ranks, including personal trainer, Miraculously Beautiful Marco (British accent included!!!) and you’ve got a match made in spandex.
“You’ve got a gym full of regular people doing regular exercises. I thought I’d come shake things up a little.”
When Danielle’s dreams of becoming an actress collide with her life-long admiration of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, she has to find the motivation to change her life in order to compete in an all-out obstacle course for charity to win a walk-on roll in one of DJ’s films. Goodbye doughnuts, hello kale smoothies. With the help of her new gym family, Dani embarks on a journey that will change her life in ways she never could have expected.
“You are the biggest handful I have ever trained. But you also have the biggest heart.”
Dear Dwayne, With Love is effortlessly hilarious, inspiring, heartfelt, surprising, and filled with genuine characters. Eliza Gordon’s books have the magical ability to make you feel good – it’s like instant happiness, whether you’re reading one of her books for the first time or the eleventh.
Now we just need to keep Hollie Porter and Danielle Steele far away from each other, because the hijinks (while hilarious) those two could get up to could border on natural disaster level. Look out Jayne and Luke, Danielle might want to take her cheat-day at Piewalkers!
Favorite Quotes:
Imagine the witch who gives Snow White the apple. Make her more than six feet tall. Braid the hairs growing from the mole. Give her the personality of Miss Gulch, the mean lady on the bike who yells at Dorothy’s aunt and uncle about little Toto. Boom. My boss. Joan the Crone.
Where are the real gigs, you know? Like tampon or feminine deodorant commercials? The residuals on those can be nuts—I knew a woman in LA who bought a house in the Hollywood Hills just from the residuals she earned on Massengill Douche ads. Sure, she was known as the Douche Lady, but she has an infinity pool and a pool boy named Sven. A clean vagina is no laughing matter.
My mother keeps sending me meal plans she finds online, designed specifically for people trying to conceive… I am really, really tired of beans and spinach. And I feel sorry for the other women sitting around me. So much farting.
I follow her to the Great Wall of Shoes… Susie talks me into two pairs: a zero-drop shoe for the gym (“ It will help you keep your balance, like being barefoot, when you’re squatting and deadlifting”— I have no idea what either of those things involve, but I’m guessing one might be for pooping and the other might be for carrying a corpse)…
I don’t even want kids. Georgette has three, and all she talks about is how her hair is falling out and she can’t poop alone and how her vagina has lost its pep. I don’t want my vagina to lose her pep. I have it on good authority my group health insurance won’t cover fixing that.
No time for doubts. Doubts are for cat tattoos and dubious marriages.
My Review
I giggle-snorted and smirked as I read this delightfully clever and deliciously amusing and quirky story. I was quickly drawn into this vibrantly humorous, entertaining, and engaging tale. The storyline was irreverently witty while also providing those occasional emotive heart-squeezes, and was simply brimming with oddly alluring and intriguing characters with my favorites being the Miraculously Beautiful Marco the personal trainer, and the soft-hearted and somewhat spineless heroine, Danielle Steele with an e, “Dani.” Dani’s eccentric and conspiracy-prone mother had named all three of her daughters after her favorite romance authors. Tucked into the narrative were frequent and unexpected tricks and treats to keep reeling the reader into this well-crafted and smartly written story.
Dani’s family was all kinds of peculiar with her mother belonging to a UFO group named Greys (Alien) Anatomy, and sold magic healing space wands and her own homegrown medicinal herb (unlicensed) to “her friends” and those seeking relief from pain. Despite her unusual childhood, Dani was a sweet and thoughtful friend and co-worker, although she lacked backbone and knew it. She was also unflinchingly snarky in her inner musings and when writing in the private online diary she had kept since middle school using an unpublished blog website with her missives generally consisting of unsent letters and imagined conversations with her childhood idol Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who had been her long-gone father’s favorite wrestler. But secrets often have a way of being revealed, with humorous results and uncomfortable and humiliating consequences.
I adored this amusing and cleverly crafted book from its very beginning to the gleefully satisfying end. Dani had transformed herself through setting a goal to meet her idol and despite several unforeseen setbacks, she had some major wins and a few tragic losses, with a boatload of humorous scenes, perceptive observations, and comically arched eyebrow lifts occurring in between. I will forever associate kittens on leashes, sports bras, and protein smoothies with this enticing and inventive tale, while I would never consider ever again drinking a kale smoothie as I agree with Dani; kale smoothies most certainly are the devil.