Special Release Price!WSJ bestselling author Ilsa Madden-Mills delivers a gripping enemies-to-lovers, secret admirer, high school romance.The rich and popular Sharks rule at prestigious, ivy-covered Camden Prep. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of their world–until they destroyed me.The last thing I expected was an anonymous love letter from one of them.Please. I hate every one of those … them.
Please. I hate every one of those rich jerks for what they did to me. The question is, which Shark is my secret admirer?
Knox, the scarred quarterback.
Dane, his twin brother.
Or Chance, the ex who dumped me. . .
Dear Ava,
Your eyes are the color of the Caribbean Sea.
Wait. That’s stupid.
What I really mean is, you look at me and I feel something REAL.
It’s been ten months since you were here, but I can’t forget you.
I’ve missed seeing you walk down the hall.
I’ve missed you cheering at my football games.
I’ve missed the smell of your hair.
And then everything fell apart the night of the kegger.
Don’t hate me because I’m a Shark.
I just want to make you mine.
Still.
★★★★★
“A gut punch right in the feels. These characters wreck you. It’s a deep storyline, with such tender, beautiful, unbelievably perfect romance. Gah. I. Am. Wowed. Five Stars!” Angie, Angie’s Dreamy Reads
Not part of any other series. Dark High School Romance. Recommended for 18+.
A short excerpt of Dear Ava appeared in Team Player 2. (No longer available) This all-new, full-length version is 331 pages and 100,000 words.
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4.5 ‘the heart knows when it sees its forever’ stars
Dear Ava was first featured in Team Player 2: A Sports Anthology a couple months ago. From then on, I was excited to hear that Ilsa Madden-Mills was going to release a full story about Ava and Knox. Their story definitely needed to be told. For survivors of abuse/rape and friends/families of the abused and abusers. So, if you read that first short story in that anthology, do yourself a favor and start from the beginning of this book because many changes have been made and the story is that much better with more background and a more cohesive story for the characters and their journey. And as far as the tigger warning of the above mentioned subject matter, we don’t go into details of what happened (meaning we don’t see it), but it’s definitely a huge part of the story and journey of the characters.
I first have to say that Ilsa Madden-Mills can write YA/NA (sports) romance like nobody’s business. She gets the core of characters and their relationships with friends and lovers for high schoolers without going over the top. While at the same time, she can keep an adult such as myself entertained and wanting to know more about these characters that could be my children. These characters feel a part of my world and I can relate to them. Even if it is over 20 or more years ago. They are relatable and believable.
Ava and Knox’s story begins their junior year in high school. Or at least the written story does. A traumatic event causes Ava to leave her school for the remaining part of the year and deal with the aftermaths of a party in which the rich rule the school and everything that happens in it. Fast forward to a year later and it’s their senior year in high school. Ava returns to get answers and put the pieces of her life back together. She does this for her brother and for herself. She is tough as nails and has a strength that makes me proud to know her character. When she returns, the Sharks (the rich who rule the school) are not so friendly to her and wish her gone, but a letter left in her locker has her wondering who might be on her side.
“She’s definitely a spark that just might ignite and catch fire.” “And burn us all down in the process.”
On the other side of the coin, we have Knox. He is the head Shark. QB1. Scarred, maybe mean or maybe just quiet, but can get any girl he wants. The way he watches those around him and cares for his brother makes Ava question everything she may know of him. She likes to push his buttons and push him to the edge. It’s his wicked smile and the way he turns himself off that really intrigues her. You can just tell that there is more to him that meets the eye.
“She walked in here like she owns the place, but she doesn’t. I do.”
Seeing them in class and the past made for some smiles on my part. I liked the way they interacted. The way there was an intenseness about them. You could feel the tension and the attraction, even when they were fighting it. But how do two broken people that are pushing down their pain so far find any happiness in their darkness? How do they fight their demons and let others in?
“Scars serve as medals of honor, and the strongest hearts have the most. I like your scars. Share them with me.”
Dear Ava is a book that took a serious subject matter and mixed it in with characters that we can get behind and characters we can relate to. I adored Ava and Knox and their fight for answers and fight for themselves and their family. The connections with the supporting characters and the journey they all took to find their happiness was very satisfying. In fact, I would love to hear more from a few other characters. And the epilogues? Oh, how I loved them. Toward the end of the book, I was a little disheartened by the actions from a certain family member, but once we learned more, it made sense and I am glad the characters followed their hearts AND minds because that made it that much more difficult yet believable. This story is a difficult one for me to give up. The characters are ones I will hold close to me for a while and I’m so glad I got to experience their journey right along with them.
“What I really needed was my family. I’ve learned to be patient. Everything arrives when it’s supposed to.”
I NEED MORE!!! (Read Team Player Anthology 2–September 2019)
Quick read that will pull you in from the get go. Really good main characters and I can tell this will be an interconnected series. Fingers crossed, I HOPE!
Ava has struggled all her life to get where she is, she is going to school at the filthy rich academy but she is a scholarship kid from the other side of the tracks. Sent from foster home to foster home all her life. Someone has a secret admirer and she doesn’t know if its a trick or not due to a major event that happened to her the year prior. She is a changed girl, and she’s fighting back!
Loved it and can’t wait for more!
**Update(Read full book 1/29/2020)
I was lucky enough to finally get the full story via ARC, and it was beautiful, heartbreaking, so many emotions running through me. Ava woke up one day to a nightmare. She can’t remember what happened to her but it’s very evident she was assaulted. Ava is such a strong young lady dealing with more than someone her age should be dealing with. She has the drive for her future and the future for her little brother. She’s around rich kids everyday, the taunting, the belittling, the name calling but she’s going to show them that she isn’t backing down. Knox and her aren’t on the best of terms, these two have tried to avoid each other over the years. They don’t like each other but deep down, there is something there.
I really loved this story. Told in dual POVs, you could feel their agony, their happiness, their emotions, this was written very well. Love love love this one.
Lost for words….a truly beautiful book!
Dear Ava was originally a novella in an anthology and now its a full length story that will invoke so many emotions as you read!
I really admired Ava! Her strong attitude outward at getting some peace as to what really happened and Knox, hes like a knight in shining armour but with two sides to him!
This book was beautiful! It was well written and the characters just touched my heart and soul!
Knox is the ultimate fictional character with his words, his caring ability for those close to him and his desire for justice is admirable to say the least!
Without saying too much more, please read this book! It has so many heartwarming moments but in parts there are sad ones too!
All in all this is an emotional story that will stay in your mind!
Absolutely beautiful!
Dear Mrs. Ilsa Madden -Mills, I fEll madly in love with Knox, with Ava… what should I do with my life right now ???
It was me, (NOT-SECRET-)ADMIRER Marta.
First book from THIS AUTHOR in year 2020 and… BUM! somebody help me please !!! Dear Ava is absoluteley the best book that has been written by Ilsa Madden Mills, just mark my words boys and girls… I only want to repeat over and over again – THIS BOOK is ABSO-freaking-LUTELY PERFECTION !!!!
MY heart will never be the same.
My soul will never be the same.
MY mind will never be the same.
I’m following this author fore years, so I knew – Dear Ava will be wonderfull, BUT today … wow ! My head has so many thougths inside, my heart can’t keep up with all emotions. It was not the easiest book, because it has touched very fraigle topics, but…author put ino words amazing story line, with even more amazing characters inside. I’m sad that my adventure is over, that my date with Ava and Knox (and their friends and families) ended. I still want more, even if Dear Ava left me with one of the biggest bookhangover ever.
Dear Ava is about LOVE. About love between boy and girl. About love between brothers and sisters…. About love to ourselfs because, this kind of love getting us ready, READY to recieve THE RIGHT KIND of LOVE from someone else.
This book will stay with me forever. This characters will be one of me favorites FOREVER. Can I change my name for Ava, and became just like Her? I want to be THAT SMART AND STRONG… AND BRAVE as Ava in my real life.
Once again – DEAR AVA IS A MUST READ BOOK FOR EVERYONE.
“My hard heart wants the glass heart in her.”
I am wrecked.
Dear Ava will wreck all your emotions.
From the very beginning this book is emotional, gripping and riveting. Ilsa not only writes about an emotionally raw subject, but she captivated me with a relevant story that needs to be told.
I don’t want to say too much in my review because it is clear from the very first chapter what this story revolves around. However, there are also heavy underlying sub-plots that wrap all around each other and are crucial to the overall ending of the book. So….forgive my vagueness, but you need to experience this emotional story for yourself and you also need to discover the accused Shark to enjoy the entire ride.
“Why can’t a devil want an angel?”
Ava attends one of the richest schools in the state, but she does not come from the same background as the other students from Camden. She is able to attend the prep school on scholarship and that unfortunately makes her a target.
As much as she wants to be part of the crowd, it is made very clear during her junior year that she isn’t. When she returns her senior year it is with a singular purpose, vengeance. She just doesn’t know who she needs to extract that vengeance upon.
With no one to rely on except herself, she walks back into the lion’s den. What she never counted on was a secret admirer who also might be the only person who ever really saw her for her. Could she have an ally or is this just a Shark trick?
“I know what it’s like to be lonely. I know how it feels to walk into a room and feel as if no one really knows you.”
Dear Ava contains a lot of sensitive topics that could be hard for some readers to get past, but know that Ilsa writes everything with a purpose and nothing is graphic or written with insensitivity.
Overall Rating:
Ilsa Madden-Mills is one of my top favorite authors. She writes contemporary romance in such a way that connects so deeply with my heart that I have read her entire book list, and I continue to download any new book she publishes. She has this way of magnifying the human condition that, while the characters’ experiences might be vastly different from our own, their truth connects with our personal truths.
Her newest book, Dear Ava, continues in this tradition. In a similar vein as her Briarwood Academy series, this book is set in high school which might turn away a reader. Don’t fail to read this book because the characters are high school students. Beneath this facade lies truths about self-respect and empowerment: two ideals desperately needed in a #metoo world. We may have left high school many years ago, or we might have left it recently, but the characters of this story, Knox, Ava, and Dane, evoke the same struggles of women and men in our modern day. Whether you are a high school student or a woman in the workplace or a person online in the cancerous Twittersphere, you’ve encountered bullies and/or the commoditization of the female body and consent. These are profound messages in this book. To not read Dear Ava is to miss the power of this book to articulate the need for women to own their own happiness for themselves, regardless of one’s connection to another.
Here’s a warning: Dear Ava deals with difficult topics, namely sexual assault. If you’ve had this experience, you should be prepared going into this book. Madden-Mills does such a beautiful job of safely presenting this topic, including resources at the end for anyone who may need them. Additionally, for me, Dear Ava is a book wherein you need to be patient. I read this book in its short story anthology form, so I was familiar with some of the bigger moments of the story in the first half of it. That made it, at times, a little slow for me. Yet, it’s important to recognize that Madden-Mills needs to build the relationships of her characters. There is romantic suspense, enemies-to-lovers, young adult, and second chance tropes developed in her story. She masterfully intertwines these tropes, offering a little something for everyone. In my opinion, the big emotional pay-off lies in the last third of this book. I found myself waiting to connect emotionally to this version of Dear Ava, after having read the first conception of it. Since I was familiar with its first part, I found myself emotionally suspended, so to speak. When Madden-Mills begins revealing more of the story that I had yet to read, she drowned me in my emotions. As Ava learns the truth of her story, my heart broke, and I cried for her. Madden-Mills empathically connects you with Ava’s trauma even if you have never lived her experience.
Ava is the true hero of this book. Honestly, the male characters cannot hold a candle to her depiction. She is everything you hope for in a romantic heroine: inner strength, resilient, willing to face her demons, insightful, and brave. She is the most capable, self-sacrificing heroine that I’ve read in some time. When Knox, the hero, tells us he’s not worthy of her, so he shouldn’t be with her, believe him. In her, Madden-Mills offers insight into the difficulties of poverty and the lower socio-economic class. Yet, she doesn’t suffocate her with it. Instead, she shows Ava’s resiliency in taking control of her situation. Ava is empowered, even when it seems the opposite. In one of the biggest turns of the story, Ava takes full control of her life when her choice may seem unpopular to Madden-Mills’s readers. For me, while my heart hurt, it was my favorite moment of the story. It shows that Ava has finally taken back what was stolen from her, and she makes the choice to love herself (and her little brother) first before the hero. There is a bravery in that choice, and don’t worry, Madden-Mills rewards her readers for bearing it through to the end.
The male characters, Knox, Dane, and Chance, seem ancillary to this story even though we need heroic figures to tell romantic stories. Those typical moments occur in Dear Ava, but the male characters act as representations of the ways in which men often fail women. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t believe that women can only find completion in a romantic connection with men (or a significant other). Instead, in this story, Madden-Mills shows the personal implications of “not acting” when someone needs you. This is probably the biggest insight that comes from Dear Ava. When we see someone wronged, Madden-Mills suggests through her story that we MUST act even when the circumstances seem muddled. This storyline provides the biggest insight into the power behind this book, and it is what makes Dear Ava a necessary read in the romance community.
Once again, Ilsa Madden-Mills proffers a story that both engages us emotionally and intellectually. I do think Dear Ava has a different voice from Madden-Mills’s other books, and I appreciate it when a storyteller is willing to try something new. While this book may seem slow to start (and again, for this reader, it could be that I had read some of the story previously), its last third will flay you open and make you question the purpose of romance. Many times, the happy ending of a romance seems elemental to the romantic heroic arc. Yet, Madden-Mills plays with us in Dear Ava, asking us to never take our happy endings for granted. That we should remain vigilant to the second, standing up for ourselves first and others who need us in moments of trouble. There is beauty in that truth, just as there is a beauty in the strength of character that lives a life that is brave and honest, as evidenced by Ilsa Madden-Mills’s book, Dear Ava.
Oh my heart! Isla Madden-Mills delivers a poignant, emotional story that will break your heart into a million pieces and slowly heal it one step at a time. Dear Ava deals with some heavy-duty topics but Madden-Mills does so with sensitivity and grace. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and in the end, your heart will smile as Ava and Knox find their happily ever after.
Ava has been to hell and starts off the new school year clawing her way back. In the face of adversity, she holds her head high and doesn’t let anyone get to her. But underneath, she’s struggling to push through. I loved her resilience and how hard she fought in every aspect of her life. Knox is a Shark, the king Shark if you will….popular, gorgeous, cold as ice. He has a huge wall built around himself, not letting anyone in other than his twin brother Dane. But underneath that “cold and evil” exterior lies a young man who has a heart of gold. Paired with Ava on a class project, these two form an unlikely friendship. What I loved most is how Ava was able to peel back all of the layers that Knox kept hidden. They complimented each other perfectly but that’s not to say things were easy for them…..far from it! They had an uphill battle the entire way but eventually, things work out the way they are meant to be.
Madden-Mills does an amazing job making us truly feel all of the emotions that her characters experience. From happiness to sadness, from fear to strength and new beginnings, readers will rejoice in the brilliance of this story. Don’t miss this one! 4.5 stars
Feeling Emotional, So Amazingly Well Written
Knox Grayson is the quarterback for the Camden High School. Knox is known for being standoffish with a stern scowl. Ava Harris is a strong as nails girl who has built walls to protect yourself. Ava finds yourself with a secret admirer but she has a hard time trusting anyone, especially Knox who she has to work a school assignment with. You will need to read to see if Ava can open up and let people in.
Dear Ava is well written story, this had me feeling extremely emotional. This is not your typical boy meets girl and then they fall in love story. The story is honest and real, and I love this story and didn’t want it to end. Ilsa has the ability to make you feel the same emotional journey that the characters go through and it makes the story amazing! This story is a must read.
I’m a huge fan of Ilsa Madden-Mills and I first read Dear Ava when it was a novella in an anthology. I loved everything about it and was so excited to find out it would be a full-length book and we’d get more of Knox and Ava.
Dear Ava deals with some strong themes. My heart broke for what Ava went through, even more when she had to deal with the aftermath. Having said that, she’s super smart and she’s strong. I loved her character so much. Knox is the top guy- broody, sexy and deep down, sweet. The secondary characters were also amazing and I loved all of them.
I don’t want to give a lot away, but this book needs to be read by everyone! This is my favorite book written by Ilsa!
This was an amazing book! It is my favorite of 2020 so far!
5 Beautiful Stars!
WOW I loved every minute of this heartbreakingly beautiful story
Dear Ava is set in high school where the football players are worshipped and there is clear distinction between the rich kids and the poor. Ava has been out of school for a year after a tragic event taking place at a Football Party. Now she is back and is not going to let anything or anyone to get her down. She is on a mission to help improve her life and her brothers and bounce back stonger than ever while determined to figure out what really happened that night. On her first day back she gets a note from a mysterious admirer who has never told her how he really feels about her and claims to be on the football team but Ava doesn’t trust anyone in the school especially not the football players including the schools QB1 Knox who just can’t seem to stay away and stands for everything she hates about her world.
When I first read part of this story that was included in the Team Player 2 anthology I was instantly drawn into this world and felt all the emotions that came with it and just knew the full length novel was going to be amazing and I was defitnely not disappointed
I loved Ava’s character so much, she is a strong, resilent and determined character who does not let the way people treat her or the events that happened in her life control her, put her down or make her feel inferior. She truly is an admirable character, who loves fiercely and is incredibly unselfish
Knox is cold and distant to begin with but the more we see him the more we realise how is a kind and loving character who cares deeply about the people he keeps close to him in his life and will do anything for the people he loves. He is such a raw and vulnerable character with a few dark secrets and issues of his own
My heart broke for these two broken yet beautiful souls multiple times, I cried with them, laughed with them, screamed for them and in the end my heart was left feeling so incredibly full
There is much emotional pain in this book. This is sorta a bully romance. (Though the bully wasn’t necessarily cruel or vicious.) There are several circumstances that may be triggers for some readers, including sexual assault and suicide. (Neither of those two events take place in the pages, but the aftermath is.) There is also drug use throughout. This story is about one persons drive to survive and another’s drive to help others survive. There are heart breaking moments and happy feel good moments. The mental anguish runs high throughout the entire book, up until the very end. (And I mean the VERY end… the Epilogue to be precise.) It’s hard to say too much without spoiling the story, but it’s beautifully written. The characters are real. The good, the bad and the ugly. It pulls you in from the beginning. You feel truly invested in these characters and their lives. While there are those triggers, the actual sexual content is very limited and not too overly graphic.
*I received an ARC of this book.
I love when beauty comes from tragedy. Ava was so strong, brilliant, and beautiful, you can’t help but love her. Her strength and resilience was inspiring. Knox was his own kind of broken. Together they were so much more than high school puppy love. I didn’t want to put this one down.
Worth the wait for anyone that loved the original novella that Ilsa Madden Mills released last year!
This book gave us so much more of Ava and Knox and finally answered our questions. I highly recommend anyone that read the novella to read this book, you’ll fall in love with these characters all over again. Ilsa has a way of reeling us in with her characters that I just love the way she developed this relationship before our eyes. This book does touch on a topic of rape, but don’t let it discourage you in reading. Embrace it and read how this kick ass heroine didn’t let it define who she is!
WOW….this book was a totally different type of book than I feel like I am used to from Ilsa Madden-Mills but it was still very engaging, well written and thought provoking. Dear Ava starts with Ava having gone through a very traumatic event but having no clear memories of who caused her harm, and the book focuses in part on her trying to remember as well as the other main character trying to find out who was behind the events of that horrible night as well. In addition, Ava also has a secret admirer that she is trying to figure out as well.
Ava is working hard to balance her life back at school following the night she can’t remember, being back at school with peers that treat her horribly, and trying to better her life and take care of her brother. I admired her strength throughout the book and how she persevered and kept going in the face of so many challenges. I enjoyed reading about the moments with her secret admirer and how he seemed to brighten her spirits and want to make her happy. I liked that she had someone on her side who saw her value and fought for her. I loved the epilogues of the book and was happy that Ava got the HEA she so despearately deserved.
After reading the part of Dear Ava in the anthology that it originally came out in, then finding out that we were going to get the full story, I was so excited! I am not a huge fan of bully/high school style romance stories but the way Madden-Mills writes it, I am blown away. She touches on a very tough subject which sadly is still a huge topic of debate in so many ways. We are given a heart wrenching story that will keep you on your toes but also open your eyes in so many ways.
What I loved is the strength of Ava. She is a fighter and she overcomes so much both emotionally and mentally. This story is really an amazing one that has a great depth of suspense but that romance story intertwined within. If you want a unique story, I highly recommend picking this one up.
I fell in love with Ava and Knox when their novella was in the Team Player 2 anthology. I was excited with Ilsa posted that she was writing Ava and Knox’s full story and releasing it.
Knox is portrayed as the typical ahole when in all reality he just didn’t think he was ready or good enough or deserved the love and happiness that would come with Ava. Ava is honestly one of my favorite heroines that I’ve read in awhile. She’s strong, independent, stubborn, but also a bit broken and vulnerable. She knows what she wants and she’s busting her butt to get it.
There is more to this story than what happened to Ava in those woods, and while that is a big part of this story there is so much more there and Ilsa has done an amazing job of bring it all together and making this story something amazing that will stick with me for awhile!!!
I love these characters and even the side characters… *cough* we need more Dane please *cough*
5 star Review of Dear Ava by Ilsa Madden-Mills
Take heed of the warning that the author has given as there is some dark and potential triggers at the beginning of this book.
This is an emotional enemies to lovers roller coaster of a read, which had me riveted from the first to the last chapter.
Attending Camden Prep, an Ivy League school on a scholarship, Ava has always wanted to be accepted as a member of the popular crowd.
I don’t normally read YA/NA books but Ilsa Madden-Mills’s writing style is one I enjoy.
Dear Ava was an emotional and well written story with characters that are likeable (well the mains were) and easy to relate to, even if they were some heart stopping moment.
One of the things I enjoyed was seeing Ava come into her own, after such a harrowing experience, determined to hold accountable those that had hurt her. I loved her fighting spirit and her refusal to back away from her new reality.
Knox Grayson is the star quarterback at Camden Prep exceedingly rich and most definitely the leader of the “in” crowd. There is so much more to Knox than meets the eye and although there were times I wanted to smack him, he was a fitting hero.
Dear Ava, was a great read, with drama, angst and heat with a hero and heroine who you cannot help but fall for. This book certainly evoked a myriad of emotions in me whilst I was reading. There were times that I laughed, I cried, I swooned and there were certainly times that I was on the edge of my seat.
HOLY HOT GUY indeed I loved meeting Knox & Ava in the Team Player novella. This a beautiful story of love, loyalty, redemption…Knox & Ava are both beautifully flawed. Ava’s steadfast belief in herself is inspiring. Knox’s soul is beautiful. Knox’s protection and need to find justice for Ava is heartwarming. Turning your back on what is known to you is hard but it ultimately heals his family, Ava and himself. Knox & Ava truly deserve their HEA:) #hardworkpaysoff #SECBABY
This book deserves all the stars! Everyone at Camden thinks Ava is just a charity case, a snitch who ratted on the in-crowd. Everyone assumes Knox is an elitist, entitled jock. But both Ava and Knox see the other for who they are and stumble through their share of trials to find a happily ever after! By far this is Ilsa Madden-Mills’ best book and Knox has just knocked all her other heroes back a pace or two. The feels…the heat…the poetry…swoon worthy from start to finish!
4.5 stars
Oh my Dearest Ava, my heart was broken for you and everything that happened but I love how you are a survivor and fight back with everything in you for your life and dreams.
My sweet Knox, you are a true hero for your endless love and faith in people that really matters.
I cried, I swore, I cheered, I had my heart broken in million pieces and sewed back together by this epic love story.
Some people wear their scars on their body for everyone to see but others can’t show them because some tragic moments in their life are not leaving visible ones. Both of them are beautiful and deserve to love and be loved.