At eighteen, Joel Smith’s life fell to pieces. His boyfriend died in a car crash while reading a sext from him, the local newspaper outed them both in the aftermath, and his parents got a divorce. Joel did everything possible to outrun his past: he moved to Oklahoma for college, legally changed his name, and started over.Since then, he hasn’t let anyone get close—not his classmates, not his … classmates, not his roommate, and definitely not his hookups. The strategy has served him well for over three years. Why would he change it now?
But Joel doesn’t plan on the articles about his boyfriend’s death being used as a case study in one of his classes. And he doesn’t plan on Paulie McPherson, who is sweet and giving and fun. In Paulie, he finds a home for the first time in years.
But love isn’t simple, and lies have a tendency to get in the way. Joel must figure out if he’ll allow his grief to rule him, or if his connection with Paulie is worth letting all of his walls come tumbling down.
NOTE: This is a reprint of a previously published novel.
more
One of the first lines of the blurb state that Joel is haunted by his past. That word stuck with me as I read this story and still does. Joel’s story was haunting. It was painful and real and messy. It was unhealthy and screwed up and threatened to ruin him and his life forever. But that was what originally drew me to the story because I know what its like to feel like a mess, like you might break if anyone pushes even just a little bit. I started this book for Joel’s story but I stuck around for Paulie. He was everything I’ve ever wanted in a character and more. Sweet and sassy, he’s fighting demons of his own but he has this brightness and hope about him that lifts what could have been a real downer of a love story into something happier and more promising. This book, like Joel and Paulie’s relationship, has its ups and downs, but I loved every page and I can’t wait to dive into book two about Travis. Erin McLellan has a new number one fan here.
Parts of this book were hard to read. Joel was stuck in his unresolved grief and guilt over Diego’s death, and his relationship with his parents was just painful. Paulie had his own issues, but he was still a beacon of light into the darkness of Joel’s world. I was often frustrated with Joel, but I loved him, too. He was afraid to reveal his past, even though what he needed more than anything was for someone to tell him that the tragedy of his past wasn’t his fault. The connection between Paulie and Joel was beautiful, and they could make each other feel both better and worse than anyone else. Travis was a great friend to both of them, especially to Joel, when he needed that friendship so much. The story had many ups and downs, and my heart hurt for both men (and sometimes for other characters as well), but there was so much love here. It was a beautiful story.
This was such a fantastic read and I can’t wait to see what story this author comes up with next. The storyline was perfect, the characters were fantastic and I enjoyed them a lot. Joel, Diego, Paulie and his aunt Ruth will have you smiling a lot. Paulie was definitely the life of this story and deserved every bit of happiness and love; he was definitely my favorite. I laughed a lot with his antics while reading this story. The sex scenes were definitely steamy and I remember one part being a bit much but I got over it quickly. This is the perfect readers looking for a great m/m romance read that will not disappoint. The characters in the story struggled with life problems and it was great seeing them grow and develop throughout the story. I was completely happy with the ending and I look forward to reading more books from this author. I really hope Diego gets his own story and we get more of the same characters I enjoyed in this story.