“Love is real, it is painful, it is powerful, and it is brave, much like this book.” – Sarah Wendell, Smart Bitches Trashy Books From New York Times bestselling author, Deidre Knight, comes the new and expanded ultimate edition of her groundbreaking novel – Butterfly Tattoo. You never know where love will find you. Michael Warner had never been with a man before, until the night Alex Richardson … Warner had never been with a man before, until the night Alex Richardson turned his world upside down with a single kiss. Together they shared a home, and a daughter, until a drunk driver brought an end to their Happily Ever After. A year later, Michael is still drowning in grief when fate throws him a lifeline in the form of Rebecca O’Neill, a powerhouse producer with a dark, painful past much like his own.
How could anyone ever love this face? That’s what Rebecca thinks every time she looks in the mirror. Once she was Hollywood’s favorite “It Girl” and every man’s fantasy. Now, with each kiss she and Michael share, a piece of their hearts opens more. But can two broken hearts ever truly be healed? Because no matter how carefully Michael and Rebecca tiptoe around the landmines of the past, it’s just a matter of time before unfinished business and a bombshell revelation test the limits of their new and fragile love.
In this Ultimate Edition of Butterfly Tattoo, get the inside scoop on how Michael and Rebecca’s love story came to be, and its impact on LGBT fiction in one of Deidre’s favorite interviews. Discover new reader discussion questions, and read an exclusive, previously deleted scene.
Butterfly Tattoo was originally published in 2009
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eidre Knight has broken boundaries and has shown perfectly why falling in love is something so powerful and it doesn’t matter who that person may be. Michael, the hero of this tale explains perfectly his love for his dead lover who was so cruelly taken away from him. Michael doesn’t think of himself as gay or straight. If he has to put a label on his sexual preference, it would be bisexual. His love for Alex, his husband and partner was a perfect love and something only most of us could dream of. The newfound love he has for former actress, Rebecca O’Neill is something very different from what he had with Alex. Rebecca is confused with Michael because she just can’t believe that Michael, after years of being with a man would turn his back on the lifestyle he had with Alex to be with her. If I were in Rebecca’s shoes I would have the same reservations. These questions and doubts are the two important things that both Michael and Rebecca must come to terms with.
Michael Warner is an electrician who works at a Hollywood studio. He is a widower with a eight-year-old daughter. Michael’s husband and partner Alex, was a doctor who died in a car accident a year ago. Their daughter Andrea was in the car with Alex and survived. Andrea is a bright but sullen little girl who misses her daddy. Andrea no longer calls Michael “daddy”, but by his first name and that tears him apart inside. He can’t seem to reach Andrea even though he tries everything he can. Michael and Andrea’s healing progress is a very slow one. Michael feels he has lost his daughter’s love the day she was in that accident. He is alone and scared.
Rebecca O’Neil was a former popular television sitcom actress whose life was taken away from her the moment a stalker fan stabbed her multiple times and left her for dead. Her scars are both visible and hidden. One side of her face has scars from the knife that also includes the ones over her torso, body and the ones on the palm of one of her hands. This is not counting the health problems and emotional and mental ones Rebecca must deal with on a daily basis. She is still involved in the industry and works in the development office reading scripts and finding the next big movie blockbuster. Rebecca is enclosed in her small protective bubble surrounded by supportive friends and work associates. I can’t help but compare Rebecca to that of a caterpillar in a cocoon who is ready to break out and become the butterfly she longs to be. Those around her such as her good friend Trevor wants her to start living life again. She is so young and even with the trauma of her past and the loss of her innocence at the hands of deranged fan, she still has so much to look forward to. And it looks like a higher being may be watching Rebecca because she is sent Michael.
Rebecca finds Michael to be very attractive. She doesn’t find him threatening because as he is fixing a fuse in her office, his daughter Andrea is there. Andre and Rebecca hit it off pretty well. Andrea finds a bosom buddy in Rebecca because of her own scars. Andrea has some scarring from the accident and because Rebecca has them also, she thinks Rebecca will understand because Michael can’t. Because Rebecca starts a tender relationship with Andrea, Michael and Rebecca form one. Both may find one another attractive but neither is in the right frame of mind to be anything more than friends. Rebecca sees the ring on Michael’s finger and comes to the conclusion he is married and even when she finds out he is a widower, she again assumes he lost his wife. Rebecca is in for a shock when Michael invites her over for dinner and sees the pictures of his family. Michael admits he is still getting over Alex’s death and Rebecca decides she will become his friend and help him deal with Andrea’s moods.
These two unlikely people embark on a new journey together. Michael finds something special in Rebecca, much like he had with Alex. Rebecca and he click so well and Michael really wants to move on and be with Rebecca in a way a man wants to be when they are attracted to a woman. But this is not easy. First of all Alex is all around Michael and the thought of forgetting Alex and moving on to someone else to love is selfish in Michael’s eyes. How can he move on when what he and Alex had was so special? How will his friends and family react when he tells them that the one he now wants to be with is a woman? Rebecca loves being with Michael and she is happy to be dating even if it is with a man who is also attracted to men. Rebecca has some major issues to work through herself. She wonders if Michael is only with her because he is lonely and needs someone to warm his bed at night. And how can a man who was once intimate with another man want to be that way with a woman? These questions raised makes things even more confusing and upsetting. Michael is at a loss because he doesn’t know how to handle them.
Life is full of complications and Deidre Knight shows this so well in Butterfly Tattoo. The title is about those tattoos a person has whether it is a literal one much like the butterfly tattoo Michael has on his back that longs to be kissed by a set of lips or the scars that both Rebecca and Andrea have. The scars on Andre and Rebecca’s bodies can’t be erased. They are forever lasting. The memory of a loved one is a tattoo on someone’s heart and in Michael’s case, Alex is deep within his soul. He is willing to make room for Rebecca alongside his love for Alex. Rebecca has to make the decision and take a chance that Michael’s love for her is very real.
Love is such a powerful emotion. Deidre shows this with a love and parent will have for a child as well as their mate. It is the glue that holds a relationship together. It is forgiveness and want and the hope that there will be someone in this big world who will understand your longings and be there to help you navigate those ups and downs. I loved how Deidre shows the balance of what Michael had with Alex and what he now has with Rebecca. Michael needs a connection with someone. Even as he is on that surfboard alone in the ocean, which seems to be a very solitary exercise, he longs for those he cares about to be beside him catching that perfect wave.
There is one line that is so perfect in it’s telling that really stuck with me. This is where Michael admits to Rebecca that he wants to make love to her so desperately and it all comes down to this:
“…instead of fighting everything so much, you could just open your heart and see where it leads you.”
Poignant and heartbreaking, Butterfly Tattoo is all about opening your heart and loving that person who just clicks with you.