Pain. It hurts us. It pushes us. It punishes us.
Or, for the few poor souls out there like me…it defines us.
I’m not a good person.
There are no redeeming qualities about me…not anymore.
Any that I had, I’d given to the devil on the night that changed everything.
The night my baby sister died.
The night I murdered her killer.
Yes, I’ve taken a life…and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
… do it again in a heartbeat.
And I would never, ever, have an ounce of regret for being who I am.
Until her.
My name is Jackson Reid. There are two things you need to know about me. The first—is that I’m in love with Alyssa Tanner. The second—is that I’m a murderer.
My name is Alyssa Tanner, but you probably know me as the whore who caused her step-father to lose the election for New York City Mayor.
And you would be right- because the day the world branded me a slut I decided to become one.
You think you know all there is to know about me because you’ve seen what I look like naked.
Believe me, you haven’t even cracked the surface.
What you don’t know—is my past, because I’ve been forced to keep it a secret to ensure my safety.
What you don’t know is my pain.
Because if you did—you’d be dead.
I bet you think you know how this story will unfold…but trust me, you really have no idea.
Warning: Due to strong language, some violence, explicit sexual content, and some dark elements, this book is not intended for readers under the age of 18.
This is a full-length, novel. (100,000+ words.)
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Wow! I am blown away by this book!!! It is raw, intense, dark, angsty, emotional and sometimes funny. Jackson and Alyssa have both been dealt bad hands on life and they are just doing the best they can to get through it. Ashley Jade is just a phenomenal writer, making this reader feel what the characters in this book were feeling. Highly recommend this book.
One of the best books I have read this year.
What started out as a 3-Definitely not Ashley Jade’s best work- Star book ended with 5-This is why I love her-Stars! So I split the difference.
The book opens telling you Jackson Reid’s entire history. All of his secrets are laid bare. I don’t really think this was a great way to start the story. The writing was choppy and it’s didn’t leave any mystery to the characters.
I also had trouble believing in Jackson and Alyssa’s insta-love. She runs away on their first date because of a panic attack but will jump into a car to have sex with a nerdy stranger.
I don’t think there was enough of a “getting to know you” phase of their relationship. I’m damaged. You’re damaged. And we have chemistry. It’s true love.
I think the story got better after Alyssa gets sick and practically moves in with Jackson. The characters develop and you get to know all of them better as a reader.
By the end, I was riveted. I loved how the author tied together all the loose ends. The showdown with DeLuca was awesome and by the time Jackson’s trial rolled around I was in tears because these characters had found there way into my heart.
The bad guys took almost everything from them. They suffer and get kicked while their down. They don’t even believe they deserve anything good to happen to them. They’re beautifully broken and when they finally win… it’s breathtaking.
I started with Blame it on the Shame series and read those three 1st. While reading the series I was so intrigued by Alyssa and Jackson. Their story did not disappoint. Wow. Alyssa back story broke my heart. Jackson is her perfect match.
Although knowing a little about what was going to happen concerned me when I started reading this book because it’s taking some of the same scenes just at a different character however that worry was put to rest. The author did a wonderful job with really making the same scene take in a completely new perspective that made the scene seem even more alive.
I love the build up between Alyssa and Jackson. It was not a insta-fall-into-bed. Alyssa was so self damaging that Jackson truly cared and wanted to do right by her which gave Alyssa strength to really heal herself.
Excellent story telling and beautiful characters!
Jackson Reid, MMA hottie, indebted to a mobster with a checkered past meets Alyssa, with a traumatic past filled with pain and betrayal. I love alphas like Jackson with a heart of gold, yet simmering beneath the surface is a hot as sin, dominating machine, both protective and a force of nature. Insert a creatively woven backstory that intertwines perfectly, multiple obstacles to the couple’s happiness, both internal and external, and a cast of vivid characters, lends to a fantastic read. I couldn’t put it down and can’t wait to dive in to the Shame books!!
~~~Erika Book Haven Book Blog
This is my first book by Ashley Jade. It is definetly not the last. She has such a talent for pulling you in and before you know it you are in a love/hate/love relationship with the book and her…lol love her and her writing.She doesn’t pull any punches in her books. The story is gripping. She takes you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions so intense you are drained but ready to read the next one. The book is packed with twists, suspense, surprises, action, intrigue, humor, and hot sexy scenes and the ultimate love story. One Click this book today. It is a definite must read.
This is the first book I’ve read by Ashley Jade.
It was heart breaking in parts with the tragic pasts both Jackson and Alyssa have gone through.
The Story is well written.
This book is sexy, angsty, It grabs you from the first page, It is Gripping Intense,
I like the Relationship Between Alyssa and Jackson. The love these too share is beautiful. The chemistry is off the charts it is sizzling Hot.
I really connected with the characters I could feel the pain they felt.
“Pain. It hurts us. It pushes us. It punishes us. Or, for the few poor souls out there like me…it defines us.”
It is a fast paced book from the start so much happens, that keeps you turning the pages wondering how it all going to play out..
“Sometimes there is absolutely no difference at all between salvation and damnation.”
so we really don’t know in the beginning whether Alyssa and Jackson were damned or salvaged , because they both suffer irreparable loss of a loved one so early in life…..so heinously !
Alyssa loses her Dad – Adrian , an FBI special agent . He is killed treacherously and gruesomely , while Alyssa watches.
Jackson loses his baby sister Lilly , the apple of his eye , barbarically , by the hands of her protector , while Jackson watches her tiny body battered and her finger nails caked with her murderer’s blood.
How do you come back from that ?
apparently you don’t . You carry the guilt of helplessness and Betrayal by day and nightmares and screams at night. You just live on broken and unloved , unable to trust anyone.
Alyssa is further blackmailed by her Father’s partner and her mentor . Jackson is further blackmailed and chained by his saviour .Both are suffering from broken hearts and shattered trusts and both are captive to their circumstances.
Alyssa roams around flitting from one night nerd stands to another to somehow feel any connection between her soul and body. Jackson flits around cage to cage fighting to save his soul from his body
Both are numb, distraught and banging on desperate walls running from their inner demons
Yet they fall in love.
the story is very fast paced. A lot happens in 42 chapters. Trauma, tragedy, heartbreak, humiliation, love, tears and laughter. Tyrone ‘s momma is a hoot and reminds me of every southern matriarch I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. She’s Momma to Tyrone, Jackson and Ricardo. And she’s the slap on their heads when they’re losing their marbles.
the characters are very developed, complex and there are twists apparent and implied which keep the story moving forward . The writing is superb and not once did I put the book down, except when my hubs unplugged the reading lamp * satan*
This is the 1st book I read by Ashley Jade. I was into the beginning of this story . I liked Jackson’s character. I don’t like Alyssa.
Murder? Illegal fighting? Dirty cop? Who is double-crossing who? HEA? This book had a little bit of everything thrown in to digest. So many twists and turns. WOW! Couldn’t get through this fast enough. I didn’t usually get into romantic suspense because of the stress as I like to read to de-stress. Who cares? This was really good. I was really routing for Jackson to come out of it ok. Another WOW!
Blame it on the Pain was so damn good. Alyssa is one fucked up woman but who can blame her after was she experienced at ten years old. Death and deceit from the people she trusted the most. The way she punishes herself is sad but thankfully Jackson enters her life and shows her what she’s worth. Jackson. Omg how I love that man. Yes, he’s a murderer but that doesn’t define him. He’s such a good man and sees the real Alyssa and wants her to know that she’s a fighter. A survivor. They click and sparks fly immediately. When they finally give in it’s an explosion of heat, lust and love. Admiration for each other.
The secondary characters were fantastic too. Tyrone and his momma was hilarious. Ricardo and Lou-Lou broke my heart. I’m definitely reading their story cause the way BIOTP ended their story arc I have too. Jackson and Alyssa got their HEA and it was amazing.
4.5 Damsel Stars
5 Angst-Filled, Beautifully Written Stars!
“Pain. It hurts us. It pushes us. It punishes us. Or, for the few poor souls out there like me…it defines us.”
This is my first book by Ashley Jade. What have I been missing? This roller-coaster was built for me. I would’ve devoured this book in one sitting if I had the chance, every free moment I was craving the pages. This story has dark elements, the feeling behind them was the winning shot for me. I loved, loved, loved the depth the author went to make me feel every emotion. The characters were embedded within me. I read tough, dark subjects with almost every book I pick up… However, it takes talented author to make me feel it. The angst, the build-up solidified my 5 Star rating. I need tension, want, the unwavering need between the main characters, this book delivers a fifty foot buffet of it.
I closed this book with tears running down my face and the need to click every book by Ashley Jade. A MUST read for suspense, angst, romance readers. I promise you, you’ll feel something from these words.
This book went so fast, it hooked me. The charcters in this book really draw you into the story. There is pain and love and sexy as hell Alpha Males, i really enjoyed this book!