Hannah has a good life. A beautiful home, a loving husband, and a wonderful Amish community are only a few of her daily blessings. But she has carried a heavy burden for years: a secret that no one must know. When tragedy strikes, her secret threatens to be revealed, jeopardizing everything she’s ever loved. Will Hannah be able to face her greatest fear and find God’s purpose for her life? … Stand-alone, Christian fiction
Excerpt (c) J.E.B. Spredemann
Prologue
It is a secret I intend to keep buried forever. But like all secrets, it begs to be told. Nobody knows. Only me. And if I had my way, not even I would know. The secret is powerful. It has the potential to destroy my life. On the other hand, if revealed, could it possibly bring a sense of peace to my soul? But I will never tell a soul. Ever.
Chapter 1
Exhausted, Hannah Stolzfus clambered down from the buggy. Dat met her at the barn and led Winnie to the water trough. “Another busy day at the candle shop?” Dat’s bushy eyebrows rose.
”Jah, Dat. Lots of Englischers today. I guess the kinner are out of school now that it’s summertime and it seems lots of folks are visiting Lancaster for their holidays this year,” Hannah said.
“It wonders me why the Englisch find our ways so interesting.” Silas Stolzfus stroked his beard with his thumb and forefinger.
“I think maybe they want to be like us. I saw another new book at Yoder’s Market yesterday. It had a woman on the cover with a kapp, but the hair was all wrong. Looked pretty funny to me. Ach, I can’t imagine what Mamm would say if I cut my hair short across the front like the Englisch.”
“If they want to be like us, why don’t they give up their fancy cars and their electric?” Dat added, “Nee, I’m afraid it would be difficult giving up something you’ve known your whole life. I, for one, would not want to give up my farm.”
“That’s because you are a gut farmer and a gut steward of the land Gott has given you.”
“Demut, Hannah. It is only by the strength Der Herr gives me that I can work this land.” Dat leaned over and placed a hand on Hannah’s forearm. “You are a gut daughter, and wise to think such things.”
“If I am wise it is only because of what you and Mamm have taught me,” Hannah deflected with a smile before making her way toward the back door of the house.
Silas released a contented sigh and grinned as he watched Hannah enter the house. Out of all four of his daughters, she was certainly the most well-grounded and levelheaded. His youngest daughter, on the other hand, was quite a different story. He knew how often Deborah sneaked out of the house at night but was glad that she often roped Hannah into going with her. He got the feeling Hannah only went to keep her sister from dabbling in too much mischief.
~~~
”Hannah,” Deborah whispered, shaking her sister’s shoulder. “Hannah, wake up.”
Groggily, Hannah turned over on her side. “What is it, Deborah?”Hannah groaned.
“Leah can’t go with me tonight. You have to come. I told Peter I would meet him at the movie theater. Leah’s beau canceled and now she doesn’t want to go,” Deborah said pouting.
“I’m tired, Deb. We had customers non-stop today and I barely had enough time to complete my chores before bed,” Hannah reasoned.
Deborah rolled her eyes. “Hannah, you’re eighteen years old and you’re acting like Mammi.”
“I am not,” Hannah snapped back. “And if you had a mind to get yourself a job, you might find yourself a little tired too. Instead, you do everything you can to get out of work.”
“I do not. I’m in my rumspringa. I’ve got a right to have a little fun,” Deborah said, pulling up a pair of jeans under her dress. “Fine.If you won’t go with me, I’ll just go by myself.”
Hannah sighed and rolled out of bed. “Okay, I’ll come with you but I’m not wearing Englisch clothes.”
”Jah, Dat. Lots of Englischers today. I guess the kinner are out of school now that it’s summertime and it seems lots of folks are visiting Lancaster for their holidays this year,” Hannah said.
“It wonders me why the Englisch find our ways so interesting.” Silas Stolzfus stroked his beard with his thumb and forefinger.
“I think maybe they want to be like us. I saw another new book at Yoder’s Market yesterday. It had a woman on the cover with a kapp, but the hair was all wrong. Looked pretty funny to me. Ach, I can’t imagine what Mamm would say if I cut my hair short across the front like the Englisch.”
“If they want to be like us, why don’t they give up their fancy cars and their electric?” Dat added, “Nee, I’m afraid it would be difficult giving up something you’ve known your whole life. I, for one, would not want to give up my farm.”
“That’s because you are a gut farmer and a gut steward of the land Gott has given you.”
“Demut, Hannah. It is only by the strength Der Herr gives me that I can work this land.” Dat leaned over and placed a hand on Hannah’s forearm. “You are a gut daughter, and wise to think such things.”
“If I am wise it is only because of what you and Mamm have taught me,” Hannah deflected with a smile before making her way toward the back door of the house.
Silas released a contented sigh and grinned as he watched Hannah enter the house. Out of all four of his daughters, she was certainly the most well-grounded and levelheaded. His youngest daughter, on the other hand, was quite a different story. He knew how often Deborah sneaked out of the house at night but was glad that she often roped Hannah into going with her. He got the feeling Hannah only went to keep her sister from dabbling in too much mischief.
~~~
”Hannah,” Deborah whispered, shaking her sister’s shoulder. “Hannah, wake up.”
Groggily, Hannah turned over on her side. “What is it, Deborah?”Hannah groaned.
“Leah can’t go with me tonight. You have to come. I told Peter I would meet him at the movie theater. Leah’s beau canceled and now she doesn’t want to go,” Deborah said pouting.
“I’m tired, Deb. We had customers non-stop today and I barely had enough time to complete my chores before bed,” Hannah reasoned.
Deborah rolled her eyes. “Hannah, you’re eighteen years old and you’re acting like Mammi.”
“I am not,” Hannah snapped back. “And if you had a mind to get yourself a job, you might find yourself a little tired too. Instead, you do everything you can to get out of work.”
“I do not. I’m in my rumspringa. I’ve got a right to have a little fun,” Deborah said, pulling up a pair of jeans under her dress. “Fine.If you won’t go with me, I’ll just go by myself.”
Hannah sighed and rolled out of bed. “Okay, I’ll come with you but I’m not wearing Englisch clothes.”
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Oh, my goodness, this is a wonderful book! I was very surprised as the story developed, but it was such an incredible story, and touched every emotion. You will NOT be disappointed!
Spoiler:
The author boldly stepped up to challenge of showing that abortion affects all of society, the harm done to the survivors (including the father and extended family members), and the hope and healing available.
This book game me a small glimpse into the lives of the Amish. Although an Amish woman having an abortion is out of character regarding their upbringing, it gave me insight into how God brought something good out of the “ashes” in her life. Kudos to the author!!
Unforgivable secrets? This story takes you through a life ravaged by hidden secrets! And how they can ruin a life. And how God’s grace and forgiveness can turn a life around!
As usual, I went into this not knowing a thing about the plot, and just ready for a good Amish book, because it’d been a while. I always return to the ways of the Plain, and I like the salvation emphasis in books like this, where yes, you CAN know if you’re saved, if you’re going to heaven when you die, and God can and will forgive you of every …
I want to write this review carefully, so as not to give away any spoilers. Yet I want people to understand that it is a very moving book. A young lady continues to blame herself for her mistake, which affects her and others for a long time. Will she be able to forgive herself through God’s grace, and might He even use the mistake to help others? …
I really enjoyed this story and the characters. The author did an excellent job of illustrating how each decision we make in life can lead you down different paths. Yet, with God’s help you can get through it all.
What a heavy burden to carry for so many years. A story of a women all alone who thinks God has forsaken her. This shows us God’s love & redemption even when we don’t think He cares. Characters are realistic and not always what we think they should be.
This author has promise. The story was unexpected, considering the Amish culture. I found very little description so had difficulty picturing surroundings, but the dialog was well done.
wonderful faith building story – looking forward to reading more books by J.E.B. Spredemann
well written
enjoyed every moment!
I enjoyed reading this book. It’s started out sweet and then, it became scandalous. Then, it takes us on a roller coaster ride. Then, we get thrown two curve balls. I did not see either curve balls coming at all. I’m trying not to spoil the book by not giving exact instances. I recommend this book.
Hannah is a well developed character in this story centered in the Amish Community. It is an inspirational read.
The book deals with a very controversial topic and did it quite well. It is a subject with a lot of stigma that is not discussed. I recommend it!
Had it all. Great read
Not everything is as it seems. Secrets are to keep. What starts as a predictable Amish story is not. Good read.
Good book, need to read next in series.
has me wanting and ending
It is hard to imagine what it would be like to be Amish and have had an abortion and live with that guilt and shame all ones life. The forgiveness and love of her community was a wonderful response to the discovery when it came out into the open.