American Royals is one of the worst books I ‘ve always read. It makes no sense, the characters are selfish brats, the play is atrocious and baffling, and the write is bland.
?THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.?
The concept of this book is that George Washington was crowned King of America after the Revolutionary War, and the US has been ruled by Kings always since then.
First of all, the Revolution was, you know, fought to get rid of the monarchy, indeed why is Washington suddenly
Read more: The 36 Best (Old) Books We Read in 2021
American Royals is one of the worst books I’ve ever read. It makes no sense, the characters are selfish brats, the drama is terrible and problematic, and the writing is bland.
?THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.?
The concept of this book is that George Washington was crowned King of America after the Revolutionary War, and the US has been ruled by Kings ever since then.
First of all, the Revolution was, you know, fought to get rid of the monarchy, so why is Washington suddenly a King?
And it seems rather disgusting to me that this cringy, sickly sweet romance is built off the back of terrible crimes like slavery, which this so-called “perfect” royal family would have been responsible for. Does this ever come up? No.
Beatrice is the future Queen of America. That’s all she’s known for her entire life. She was born and raised for this position. Every day of her life was geared towards her future job. There’s an insane amount of pressure on her, especially since she will be the first Queen of the US. (Can we talk about how ridiculous it is that a royalty romance has a woman in power and never in the history of the actual US has that happened?)
She was the only character I sort of tolerated. She knew what was good for the country. Most of the time. Sometimes. Until she literally threw away her future for some random buff dude, but I haven’t gotten there yet.
I liked her in the beginning. She was good at keeping her feelings inside for the good of the nation, which was interesting to read about, and she had some common sense, unlike everyone else in this book.
I don’t really know where to start with the awful drama and terrible love triangles (yes, love triangles). It was… a lot.
Beatrice has to marry royalty, so she gets set up with this guy named Teddy, who seems pretty decent if a little bland. However, she has a bodyguard named Connor and she’s in love with him even though there’s basically no on-page buildup, so she’s very conflicted. She gets engaged to Teddy and then breaks the engagement during the celebration because Connor proposed and she’s in luuurrrv.
Being the leader of a nation is difficult work. You can’t marry some random commoner just because you’re in love, because they won’t know how to run the country. I sound really old-fashioned here, but it’s true. You need someone to help you be the best leader you can be. Someone who has prepared their whole life for this. Someone who actually knows what they’re doing. Not your tuff bodyguard, no matter how silky his hair is.
To make things more complicated, in comes Princess Samantha, Beatrice’s younger sister, and the worst character in this book besides Connor. She is in luuurrrv with Teddy after she kissed him once in a closet. They haven’t really talked or whatever but that doesn’t matter because she’s in love.
She proceeds to hold this against Beatrice, blaming her sister for “taking everything that’s hers” even though Teddy technically isn’t “hers” and Beatrice has a list of like five guys to choose from and Teddy was the best option. She just can’t realize that Beatrice has this pressure on her and that her choices will always be limited, no matter what. Samantha, on the other hand, has freedom. And yet she keeps moaning about how she’ll “never be able to make a difference,” even though she’s one of the most influential people in the world. Or, she has the possibility to be. But no, she’s jealous of Beatrice because her sister gets all the attention and blah blah blah. She’s physically incapable of not being a selfish, spoiled brat. She refuses to look from the eyes of anyone else, and she victimizes herself constantly. I’m so tired of her.
“You’re talking about advocacy, not policy-making or governing,” she cut in. “Which means being a glorified cheerleader. Throwing a bunch of fancy parties and asking people to donate to my cause of the week? I don’t think so.”
Advocacy is important, which is what she doesn’t realize. It’s vitally important. If you’re in a position of power like she is, you can bring attention to various causes and actually make a difference while Beatrice is tied up in the process of law-making.
And then she says that she’s somehow entitled to Teddy, just because they made out in a closet:
“You can’t go through with this,” Sam insisted. This was much bigger than a single kiss. “Teddy, you can’t marry Beatrice just because your family expects it of you.”
Sam, sweetie, you can’t tell Teddy what to do, and it is not “much bigger than a single kiss.” How is it much bigger than a single kiss. You don’t know each other, honey.
And then there’s this cringe-worthy dialogue that made me want to crawl in a hole:
“That’s all you have to say for yourself? I can’t believe you would do this to me!”
“Do this to you?” Beatrice gave a puzzled frown.
“I like Teddy! I’ve liked him since the Queen’s Ball. And I met him first.”
I mEt hIm fIrSt
What is this, preschool?
Well, great. Congratulations. You have a crush on your sister’s fiance. Can we move on?
They didn’t get to play the victims here. Not when she was the real casualty of the engagement.
Can you stop? No one cares that you have a little crush. No one cares because Samantha has freedom and Beatrice doesn’t.
“I really liked him, you know? I still like him. I get that Beatrice has to marry someone, because she’s the future queen, and that her choices are limited. But couldn’t she have chosen someone else?”
*face-palm*
Sam’s eyes blazed. “Then go make them different! Get unengaged to Teddy so you can both move on with your lives!”
I love how Sam is asking Beatrice to ruin her life just so Sam can get her crush back.
It literally takes Beatrice telling her sister that their dad is dying for her to let this go.
Here’s a quote that made me wheeze out loud:
Beatrice was stunned by her sister’s maturity and wisdom.
HA HA HA.
That’s because she’s so immature and stupid all the time that whenever she shows a lick of sense, everyone is astonished.
Sam constantly says that everything is always about Beatrice, and yet she makes everything about herself.
Teddy is boring and bland. He has no personality other than being “a nice guy” who “respects women.” Why is there so much drama over him? Just throw him and Connor in a ditch somewhere and live your lives as independent women. (This should be a fanfic.)
He makes bad jokes:
“I’m really glad I don’t wear skirts,” he joked. It made Beatrice want to burst out laughing.
He compliments her bagel-retrieving skills:
“I thought it was cool of you,” he added softly. “That you went to get bagels yourself, when you clearly could have sent someone.”
Speaking of Connor… Actually, let’s not speak of him. He’s the second worst character and I hate him with every bone in my body. He has this absolutely annoying habit of calling Beatrice “Princess” instead of her proper title because qUiRk and it’s so cUtE.
No.
He’s an overprotective jerk who thinks Beatrice owes him something. He’s toxic and instead of realizing she could never be with him and letting her go live a happy life, he blamed her and continually reminded her of her “betrayal.”
He says stuff like this:
“I would never do anything to hurt you.”
…and then proceeds to hurt her.
He blames Beatrice for his own feelings:
“You proposed to him, Beatrice. How do you think I felt, watching you do an engagement interview, and with someone like him?”
“Teddy is actually a nice person,” she couldn’t help saying, which only made things worse.
“Oh, so now you’re defending him?”
He proposes with a Sharpie and says this:
“You can’t marry Teddy Eaton.”
Last I checked, Beatrice was her own human, Connor.
She rejects him because that’s literally the only smart decision to make, and he continues.
“You’re really doing this,” he said heavily. “You’re really choosing him?”
“I know what you are. But I’m not sure I know who you are at all. The Beatrice I know would never ask this of me.”
If the Beatrice he knows would throw her entire future away just to marry him, he knew a rag doll.
And then Connor resigns because it’s not like he needs money or anything as a commoner.
In the end, Beatrice calls off the engagement because she “wAnTs tO bE wItH cOnNoR.” Sam assumes Beatrice did it for her, naturally, because the world revolves around Princess Samantha.
“I can’t believe you would do this for me,” Sam managed at last.
(I’m almost at the character limit and I still have multiple characters left to destroy.)
Nina is Sam’s best friend who may not be Sam’s best friend. She and Daphne are fighting for the love of Prince Jefferson, Sam’s twin brother. Daphne is calm, calculating, and clever. She knows what she wants and she will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. She was my second favorite character because I could actually tolerate her sometimes. What I couldn’t tolerate was the ridiculous girl-on-girl hate and the justification of cheating with “tRuE lUrV.”
When the only reason Jeff likes Nina is because she doesn’t call him Your Highness and she’s “not like other girls,” that’s when things go downhill.
“I like the ways that you’re different. I like that you’re smart, and ambitious, and that you call me out when I’m wrong. That you talk to me, and not to my titles, the way everyone else does.
First of all, Daphne is leagues smarter than Nina will ever be, and since when has Nina been ambitious? I don’t even know what she does for a living. English? I don’t remember. She doesn’t have much of a life outside of Jeff.
All the relationships, of which there were too many to count, felt like instalove. And this wasn’t always because they actually were instalove–although Sam x Teddy counts. It’s usually because they were developed off-page and in the past, making the build-up seem very sudden. It was astonishingly annoying.
There’s no emotional depth to these characters. They’re bland stereotypes used for the purpose of drama that wasn’t even good. The entire book was so unbearably predictable that I literally guessed the ending as I was reading the beginning.
American Royals summarized in a sentence from Nina’s own mouth:
Because despite the whirl of action that seemed to affect the characters, nothing much had actually happened.
Also, a meme created by yours truly:
0.05 stars is one of the worst books I ‘ve always read. It makes no sense, the characters are selfish brats, the play is atrocious and debatable, and the writing is bland.The concept of this book is that George Washington was crowned King of America after the Revolutionary War, and the US has been ruled by Kings ever since then.First of all, the Revolution was, you know, fight toso why is Washington abruptly a King ? And it seems preferably disgusting to me that this cringy, sallow odoriferous love affair is built off the back of atrocious crimes like bondage, which this alleged “ arrant ” imperial class would have been creditworthy for. Does this ever come up ? No.is the future Queen of America. That ‘s all she ‘s known for her stallion life. She was born and raised for this situation. Every day of her life was geared towards her future job. There ‘s an harebrained amount of press on her, specially since she will be the foremost Queen of the US. ( Can we talk about how absurd it is that a royalty romance has a woman in baron and never in the history of the actual US has that happened ? ) She was the alone character I sort of tolerated. She knew what was effective for the country. Most of the time. sometimes. Until she literally threw away her future for some random buff fellow, but I have n’t gotten there yet.I liked her in the begin. She was good at keeping her feelings inside for the good of the nation, which was interesting to read about, and she had some common smell, unlike everyone else in this book.I do n’t very know where to start with the terribly drama and severe love triangles ( yes, love triangle ). It was … a lot.Beatrice has to marry royalty, so she gets set up with this ridicule named Teddy, who seems pretty decent if a little bland. however, she has a bodyguard named Connor and she ‘s in beloved with him even though there ‘s basically no on-page buildup, so she ‘s identical conflict. She gets engaged to Teddy and thenbecause Connor proposed and she’sBeing the drawing card of a state is unmanageable work. You ca n’t marry some random common barely because you ‘re in love, because they wo n’t know how to run the country. I sound in truth antique here, but it ‘s true. You need person to help you be the best leader you can be. person who has prepared their whole biography for this. person who actually knows what they ‘re doing. not your tuff bodyguard, no matter how satiny his hair is.To make things more complicate, in comesBeatrice ‘s younger sister, and the worst quality in this record besides Connor. She iswith Teddy after she kissed him once in a closet. They have n’t truly talked or whatever but that does n’t matter because she ‘s in love.She proceeds to hold this against Beatrice, blaming her sister for “ taking everything that ‘s hers ” tied though Teddy technically is n’t “ hers ” and Beatrice has a list of like five guys to choose from and Teddy was the best choice. She fair ca n’t realize that Beatrice has this pressure on her and that her choices will always be limited, no matter what. Samantha, on the other hand, has freedom. And yet she keeps moaning about how she ‘ll “ never be able to make a deviation, ” even though she ‘s one of the most influential people in the earth. Or, she has the possibility to be. But no, she ‘s jealous of Beatrice because her sister gets all the attention and bombast bombast bombast. She ‘s physically incapable of not being a selfish, spoiled bratwurst. She refuses to look from the eyes of anyone else, and she victimizes herselfI ‘m so tire of her.Advocacy is authoritative, which is what she does n’t realize. It ‘s vitally significant. If you ‘re in a position of power like she is, you can bring care to diverse causes and actually make a deviation while Beatrice is tied up in the work of law-making.And then she says that she ‘s somehow entitled to Teddy, merely because they made out in a water closet : Sam, sweetheart, you ca n’t tell Teddy what to do, and it is not “ much bigger than a single kiss. ” How is it much bigger than a individual kiss. You do n’t know each other, honey.And then there ‘s this cringe-worthy dialogue that made me want to crawl in a hole : I mEt hIm fIrStWhat is this, preschool ? Well, great. Congratulations. You have a oppress on your sister ‘s fiance. Can we move on ? Can you stop ? No one cares that you have a fiddling crush. No one cares because*face-palm*I love how Sam is asking Beatrice to ruin her life just so Sam can get her crush back.It literally takes Beatrice telling her sister that their dad is dying for her to let this go.Here ‘s a quotation that made me wheeze out forte : HA HA HA.That ‘s because she ‘s so young and unintelligent all the prison term that whenever she shows a lick of sense, everyone is astonished.Sam constantly says that everything is always about Beatrice, and so far she makes everything about herself.is bore and politic. He has no personality other than being “ a courteous ridicule ” who “ respects women. ” Why is there therefore much play over him ? Just throw him and Connor in a ditch somewhere and live your lives as autonomous women. ( This should be a fanfic. ) He makes bad jokes : He compliments her bagel-retrieving skills : Speaking ofActually, let ‘s not speak of him. He ‘s the second gear bad character and I hate him with every bone in my body. He has thishabit of calling Beatrice “ Princess ” alternatively of her proper title because quirk and it ‘s therefore cUtE.No.He ‘s an overprotective tug who thinks Beatrice owes him something. He ‘s toxic and rather of realizing she could never be with him and letting her fit live a happy life, he blamed her and continually reminded her of her “ treachery. “ He says stuff like this : … and then proceeds to hurt her.He blames Beatrice for his own feelings : He proposes with a Sharpie and says this : stopping point I checked, Beatrice was her own human, She rejects him because that ‘s literally the alone smart decision to make, and he continues.If the Beatrice he knows would throw her entire future aside barely to marry him, he knew a tease doll.And then Connor resigns because it ‘s not like he needs money or anything as a commoner.In the conclusion, Beatrice calls off the engagement because she “ want tO bE wItH cOnNoR. ” Sam assumes Beatrice did it for her, naturally, because the world revolves around Princess Samantha. ( I ‘m about at the character terminus ad quem and I hush have multiple characters left to destroy. ) is Sam ‘s best ally who may not be Sam ‘s best supporter. She andare fighting for the love ofSam ‘s match brother. Daphne is composure, calculating, and clever. She knows what she wants and she will stop at nothing to achieve her finish. She was my second favorite character because I could actually tolerate her sometimes. What I could n’t tolerate was the absurd girl-on-girl hate and the justification of cheating with “ true lUrV. “ When the only reason Jeff likes Nina is because she does n’t call him Your highness and she ‘s “ not like other girls, ” that ‘s when things go downhill.First of all, Daphne is leagues smarter than Nina will always be, and since when has Nina been ambitious ? I do n’t even know what she does for a living. English ? I do n’t remember. She does n’t have a lot of a life outside of Jeff.All the relationships, of which there were besides many to count, felt like instalove. And this was n’t constantly because they actuallyinstalove — although Sam x Teddy counts. It ‘s normally because they were developed off-page and in the past, making the build-up seem very sudden. It was amazingly annoying.There ‘s no aroused astuteness to these characters. They ‘re bland stereotypes used for the purpose of play that was n’t tied well. The stallion bible was so unbearably predictable that I literally guessed the ending as I was reading the beginning.summarized in a conviction from Nina ‘s own mouthpiece : besides, a meme created by yours truly:0.05 stars
