From the author of Our Chemical Hearts comes the hilarious, reality-bending tale of two outsiders facing their greatest fears about life and love—one debilitating phobia at a time. Ever since Esther Solar’s grandfather was cursed by Death, everyone in her family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime. Esther’s father is agoraphobic and hasn’t left the basement in six years, … left the basement in six years, her twin brother can’t be in the dark without a light on, and her mother is terrified of bad luck.
The Solars are consumed by their fears and, according to the legend of the curse, destined to die from them.
Esther doesn’t know what her great fear is yet (nor does she want to), a feat achieved by avoiding pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces and crowds are all off-limits. So are haircuts, spiders, dolls, mirrors and three dozen other phobias she keeps a record of in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.
Then Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah Smallwood, an old elementary school classmate. Along with her phone, money and a fruit roll-up she’d been saving, Jonah also steals her list of fears. Despite the theft, Esther and Jonah become friends, and he sets a challenge for them: in an effort to break the curse that has crippled her family, they will meet every Sunday of senior year to work their way through the list, facing one terrifying fear at a time, including one that Esther hadn’t counted on: love.
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Actual Rating 3.75
There are some really wonderful things about this book while also tacking some serious topics at the same time. I thought the curse Esther thought plagued her family was great and I loved seeing how this curse affected her family and how she saw them. Esther’s family is not perfect in any way, shape, or form. She’s just trying to compartmentalize it in a way where she can cope with the reality that is her dysfunctional life.
For the most part I liked her relationship with her twin brother Eugene. They were each others safe place. They are both protective of one another, although I felt Esther turned an eye to a lot of pain that Eugene was clearly struggling with. I was a bit apprehensive to Esther forming a friendship with Jonah, but I quickly fell in love with him and thought he was an excellent friend to Esther and tried his best to help her see what he already knew.
The beautiful thing about this book is that each and every one of the characters in this book is struggling with something. It can be a mental illness, addiction, abuse, or just plain fear. I loved the characters all the more for their imperfections. The story being Esther’s family and her grandpa Reggie knowing death was brilliant and what I loved the most about this book.
I didn’t love this book, but it was so worth the read. It was enjoyable from beginning to end.
I loved this book in so many ways and it took me by absolute surprise. I’ve never read a book quite like this before, and it was almost as if I was selected to read this one (by First to Read) and especially meant to read it because of some issues that connected with me on a personal level. I knew nothing about it beforehand, which sometimes is the best way to go into a book, and ended up absolutely loving it. It made me laugh, it made me cry. It made me want to write down lines as quotes. It made me think of someone in my past that I’ve lost and I have grieved over for years. The cover alone has a cat on it (I know, I know, don’t judge a book by its cover).
There are some HUGE issues running through the core of this beautiful, original book about a young girl called Esther being encouraged to face her fears by an amazing young man called Jonah (yes, how lucky is she?), so be forewarned: along with all the fears and phobias that are brought up, there are major issues of abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm, mental-illness (all that can encourage conversation, and I’m really glad the author Krystal put an afterword about some of this in the back of the book). There are big triggers in the book.
That said, I feel as though the story is a beautiful testament to how a dysfunctional family like this and facing fears like Esther does (as well as looking Death in the face) is really what was needed to do to turn their lives around. It’s not all doom and gloom; this story is about looking fear in the face and telling Death ‘it’s not my time yet’.
I don’t always enjoy books with overly ‘quirky’ characters but these ones all felt so genuine in their quirkiness: Esther with her different outfits, her mom Rosemary and her hippie-like existence, her agoraphobic father…they all are. Even Fleyonce the kitty (who at first I was very upset about, but that’s another essay). The Man that Would be Death caps that list off. And then there’s Esther falling in love with someone she’s known since grade school, who goes through this list with her, honestly and earnestly.
There are so many amazing, unique elements about this wonderful story; I won’t forget it any time soon. Every time I had to stop reading, I couldn’t wait to continue. My biggest complaint is that I only had a digital copy. Everone most certainly needs to own this amazing book.