From the award-winning author of Some Boys comes an unflinching examination of rape culture that delves into a family torn apart by sexual assault.It’s been two years since the night that changed Ashley’s life. Two years since she was raped by her brother’s teammate. And a year since she sat in a court and watched as he was given a slap on the wrist sentence. But the years have done nothing to … have done nothing to stop the pain.
It’s been two years of hell for Derek. His family is totally messed up and he and his sister are barely speaking. He knows he handled it all wrong. Now at college, he has to come to terms with what happened, and the rape culture that he was inadvertently a part of that destroyed his sister’s life.
When it all comes to a head at Thanksgiving, Derek and Ashley have to decide if their relationship is able to be saved. And if their family can ever be whole again.
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I absolutely loved this book. If you or someone you know has ever been affected by sexual violence then you need to check it out. The first one in the series is Some Boys, but you can read them as stand alone. Love this author’s ability to get to all the feels, even when they hurt…but especially when hope dawns. Kudos on a book very well done.
Two years ago, Ashley Lawrence, a freshman in high school, was raped by a senior football player during Homecoming week. Since then, it has driven a wedge between her and her brother, Derek. They were once very close, but now Ashley hates him and can’t even stand to look at him. Derek is carrying around his own guilt about the night of the rape and feels partly responsible for what happened to Ashley. With both Ashley and Derek at odds, the rest of their family is feeling the strain. Can Ashley and Derek ever learn to forgive each other so that their family can start the healing process?
Someone I Used To Know really packs an emotion punch in regards to rape culture and the term “boys will be boys.” It is a shame that till this day society often places blame on the victim. Why were you wearing that outfit? Why were you with him alone? Why were you walking at night by yourself? She was asking for it. She is lying. We have all heard these statements before. When a woman is raped why is she the one always targeted as if she did something wrong? If you want blame someone, blame the rapist. They are the ones at fault. Women are harassed every single day by men. Sometimes men don’t even realize what they are doing is wrong. Cat calling a woman as she is walking down the street, touching someone inappropriately as a joke, listening to your friends talking about what they want to do to a woman even if they are joking is still wrong. Most people call it “locker room” talk or boys will be boys which really goes to show how society views rape culture.
Ashley tackles a lot of these issues when she returns back to high school. She is determine to tell her story and make more people aware of rape culture and what we can do to stop it. Ashley really shines here in her determination. Yes, she is still triggered and has anxiety attacks, but she wants to make a difference. Ashley is such a realistic character and I love how Patty Blount shows her day to day struggles and never sugarcoats anything. Ashley as a character is raw and uncensored and I can really see how she grew as a person through the story.
Derek was also an interesting character for me and sometimes, in the very beginning, I hated how he treated Ashley, but at the same time, I can also see how much he craved his independence and wanted to do things with friends that didn’t include his sister. I also had to remind myself that he was still very much just a teenager and acted like a teenager. But, I can see how traumatized he was after his sister’s rape. That moment where he finally gets it and understands that what happened to Ashley wasn’t her fault. You can feel the guilt he feels for his treatment of her. He really has the most growth in this story and I was proud of him for finally owning up to what he did and the ways he went about fixing it.
Someone I used To Know is raw and uncensored. It is a story that every high school student, both boys and girls, needs to read and understand how rape culture affects our society. This story tackles real life issues and is told in a brutally honest way. Patty Blount has such a knack of pulling out every emotion in you such as tears, sadness, anger, and finally relief for characters in a story I have come to treasure. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. This is a five star read and one that will remain on my keeper shelf.
A very realistic depiction of sexual assault. Patty Blount did a wonderful job realistically show how rape affects the victim as well as the family of the victim. This is the most realistic fictional book I have read on rape. It’s not only one of my favorite reads of this year, but of all time.
Note: This review contains NO spoilers
I am still processing what I just read. This story discusses the real tough issue of sexual assault/rape. In a society that sexualizes everything, it blurs the line of a person’s right to say NO, when it definitely is a hard in that should never be crossed. Someone I Used To Know takes a hard look of the aftermath of such an event, especially within a family. Yes, the family suffers just as much as the victim. Patty Blount delivers a very emotional and gripping story of a brother and sister, indirectly and directly, respectively, that must endure all the emotions that deeply affects them to the point that it can break their family apart. Patty goes into great detail of the emotional and mental anguish everyone endures, even a couple years after, and tries to deal with it.
OMG! This is definitely a “must read” for everyone. Thought I was going to have an anxiety attack myself as I followed Ashley’s and Derek’s story. Not only was this an emotionally riveting story, it was also suspenseful in the sense that I was literally “holding my breath” until the end to find out the outcome of their efforts for rape/sexual assault awareness. I seriously got emotional at the end. Wow! Seriously! You gotta READ THIS!
Ashley Lawrence was a freshman in high school when her brother’s teammate raped her under the bleachers during Homecoming. The school’s football team had a long tradition of playing a scavenger hunt where each player would pick a card, and whatever that card says they have to do it in order to win points. There’s no prize for whoever wins the most; just bragging rights. This was a boy whom she had had a crush on, someone she had kissed willingly; someone whom she had trusted.
What I love most about this book is how firm Blount is that rape is never the victim’s fault. It’s all about power, and those who rape prey on the perceived weak, their target’s vulnerabilities. I don’t doubt that there will be readers who find this book to be too “preachy,” but this is a topic that needs to keep being discussed. I applaud Blount for not taking the easy route when writing this story. Reading about rape is difficult, but I can’t even imagine how much more difficult it is to write about it.
I especially loved Derek’s story, Ashley’s brother. My heart broke for him in the present because he was dealing with his own demons of not being there for his sister, of being mean to her just because she clung on too tightly whenever he tried to pull away to breathe. His journey went from blaming the victim (“Why couldn’t you just stay home?”) to someone being a staunch supporter and advocate for the cause. It definitely wasn’t a realistic path because I find it hard to believe that Derek (and Ashley for that matter) could really recruit so many people so fast to join their respective causes, but I can appreciate the journey all the same.
I also really loved that Ashley went from feeling like a victim who’s “weak” to a warrior. I loved that self-defense was brought up, I loved how support was made out to be such a huge deal because victims often feel so alone in their turmoil and support, whether it’s friends or family or therapy, is essential. I also loved the fact that every member of Ashley’s family besides her and Derek had their own anger to contend with, and how much it was tearing their family apart so much so that the parents were on the verge of divorce.
I didn’t always agree with what Ashley did and said, and I did kind of feel her being a bit too much of a “drama queen” at times, but that’s another reason why I love this book because nobody in this story is perfect. Everyone is flawed, even the victim.
This is a powerful book that takes a look into the life of a victim and her family after a rape. We all may know someone that has been a victim (or perhaps it is you?) and that we could never fully understand what that person went through before, during, or after the incident. And it doesn’t just affect the victim, it affects the family as they help the victim work out their fears regarding the incident.
There are so many good things to write about this book it is hard to know where to start. I think the biggest impact this book had on me was taking a look into how being a victim of rape or sexual assault can affect the victim for years after the event. It can be the smallest thing that triggers a reaction and memory of the event. I never really understood what a person might go through but this book really opened my eyes. Ashley is 14/15 when this happened to her and many of her reactions, while valid, also reflect her age. She is angry at everyone, even those trying to help her. Some comments made by friends and family were misunderstood and instead of asking for clarification, she just shuts that person out of her life. At the same time, she doesn’t understand the guilt that her family feels about the situation and not being able to protect her. There are many situations that she has to work her way through to understand and accept how others feel or their reactions in the past. She does grow over the two years that this book spans and realizes that she doesn’t have to let this event traumatize her at every turn. No she won’t forget the incident, but she can take control back and move forward.
Ashley’s brothers, Justin & Derek, also have their own battles to fight regarding the incident. They are not handling it as well and they might have thought, but it turns into character building for them, especially Derek since he feels the most responsible. His POV was sometimes hard to read only because of the guilt you could feel in his words especially when attending a rally on his college campus. Ashley’s parents are also trying to balance protecting Ashley without smothering her.
I appreciated all of the links to organizations that support victims and families of sexual assault. The author even recommends searching the hashtag #MeToo to read stories by those assaulted.
I would have liked to have a bit more development of Sebastian and Brittany since these characters play a pivotal role in Ashley and Derek’s lives.
Overall a book that made a huge impact on my thought process and view of victims of assault.