Slammed doors. Hurting hearts. Tricia Goyer knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. In Calming Angry Kids, Goyer draws on her own experience to help readers understand what’s going on in a child’s brain focus on relationship over rules teach a child how to handle frustrations without outbursts control how they express their own anger establish a standard of respect in the home they express their own anger
Including reflection questions and action steps at the end of each chapter, Calming Angry Kids shows weary parents that peace in their home is within reach.
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Calming Angry Kids by Tricia Goyer is a wonderfully encouraging book for parents (or grandparents) dealing with children who have anger issues. I had 5 children (all now older adults) and don’t remember them exhibiting a lot of anger but two of my grandkids have definite behavioral problems (to put it mildly!) so I was looking forward to reading this book. The author, in the midst of her experiences, speaks from her heart, not in a manner that says I’ve learned it all, so listen to me! but as a friend willing to share the things that have worked and are working for her with her children. Several things that resonate with me are the reminder to be focused on relationships instead of rules (and a clean house!) and that raising children is a journey, not a marathon. The changes will not happen overnight. In our instant gratification kind of world that we live in, it is easy to get discouraged when things are not instantly perfect. I also liked the reminder that sometimes the first step to healing a child’s hurts and heart is to understand one’s own feelings and emotions, recognizing them for what they are and then allowing God to align them with His precepts. So many good tips–being forgiving, allowing God’s Spirit to guide, filling our minds (and our kids’ minds) with God’s Word, walking the talk (being the model adult one wants one’s child to be), positive attention, praise the good, and one-on-one time–all such valuable advice. Some specific ideas that I am hoping my daughter will implement with her kids are using an anger log to chronicle angry outbursts, a thought notebook to help replace negative thoughts and focus on positive ones, and thinking cards to come up with ideas to respond to negative thoughts in a proactive way and avoid the cycle of anger and frustration. The author shared not only from her own experiences but from other parents and professionals that have dealt with angry children. At the end of each chapter are Reflection Questions and Action Steps to enable the reader to understand their own emotions and experiences and then to put into practice things mentioned. Other reminders I gleaned were to avoid power struggles, ignore the words and attend to the emotions of the moment and to show up every day, to run this often times frustrating parental race with faithful endurance. As she noted with a quote from Russell A Barkley, “The children who need love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.” I am excited to share this book with my family and friends. Such a practical book with lots of principles to learn and tips to put into use, to help our kids learn to calm their angry emotions and actions.
I received a complimentary copy of an advanced reader’s copy of the book and was not required to write a review. The opinions are my own.
Author Tricia Goyer is well known for the novel she writes. She, however, is very versatile as her non-fiction works are incredible.
Written for foster and adoptive parents, Calming Angry Kids has great information for any parent. We all have challenges with our children and Goyer gives us some ways to have peace at home while allowing children their feelings.
Honest about her own feelings, including frustration and anger, Goyer doesn’t come across as the perfect parent who has it all together. Her family needs help too! She assures us that prayer and professional help can work together. With reflection questions and action steps, this book is extremely user-friendly. A great read for parents!
I received a complimentary copy of this book but was not required to leave a review.
“Calming Angry Kids” is a useful guide for any parent who has had (or has) an angry child. Some kids may wrestle with anger more than others, but the tools Tricia shares in the book are ones that any parent can use. These suggestions can also be easily adapted for classroom/homeschool use as well.
Tricia Goyer is an accomplished writer of both fiction and non fiction. She and her husband adopted children from foster care and blended the new members into their home, thinking there would be no big challenges. However, the years of abuse and neglect her adopted children carried into their peaceful home brought a testing of not only their faith, but their family unit as a whole. Tricia and her husband John sought counsel from a lot of sources, slowly breaking through the real reasons for their children’s behavior.
Oftentimes there are other root causes that bring anger to the surface and in “Calming Angry Kids,” Tricia shares the pieces that her family found as their journey together progressed. Not all methods work in every situation, and there were ideas that never took off. Seeking wisdom, Tricia and John reached out to counselors, social workers and others to give readers a handbook of helpful ideas to benefit both the parent and the children involved. There are Reflection Questions at the end of each chapter, as well as Action Steps to take.
Tricia has given parents who feel as though they are drowning a lifeline to pull them back to the surface. Learning more about who our kids are and why anger reveals itself are the first steps to greater understanding. I would recommend this book to parents, ministry workers, counselors, teachers, administrators, social workers and anyone who cares about a child who struggles with anger issues. This is a heartfelt book that helps encourage calm from chaos.
I was blessed by an advanced reader copy and chose to review. All opinions are my own.