One glance was all it took…
I’m a cheater.
I’m a liar.
My whole life is a mess.
I love a man.
No, I love two men…
I think.
One makes love to me. The other sets me on fire.
One is my rock. The other is my kryptonite.
I’m broken, lost, and disgusted with myself.
But I can’t stop. This is my story.
My broken love story.
A woman willing to sacrifice everything perfect to make one dream a reality. All it took was one crack to fracture the perfect marriage. She was a hollow, angry, and scared woman who became lost into temptation. Her sanity hung by a thread. He held onto the forever love he promised her while he watched her slowly slip away.
Narrators:
Roger Wayne was the voice of Arsen. In my head I envisioned Arsen sounding uniquely different. Roger read the scenes as they were written, yet the performance wasn’t quite what I needed.
MacKenzie Cartwright was the voice of Cathy. Cathy too read the scenes just as they written. Her performance was great, but not what I heard in my head when I read the words of Cathy’s character.
I know it’s got to be difficult and challenging to find performers who can bring magic to the epic story created. Maybe these are the voices Mia envisioned, but it’s not who I envisioned. I still love this epic love triangle of cheating and despair. I’m glad I got to revisit this experience with the audiobook.
Overall:
Alternating between the past and the present building the relationship between Ben and Cathy while simultaneously building the relationship with Arsen and Cathy was amazing. This was a smooth transition of information giving the reader just enough backstory to convince the reader how much love was built between Ben and Cathy.
Although, I can’t help but have a love/hate relationship with Cathy’s character. Her life seemed so good in many ways. Ben was a wet dream come true. Arsen was the naughty bad boy that had my body panting and drooling for more. I suppose Cathy’s character was written this way intentionally. If it was then bravo! to Mia for achieving that love/hate relationship with the reader.
This was a Sexually driven story with cheating. It wasn’t raunchy sex, but nonetheless there were some sexually explicit scenes. Arsen was cocky, confident, and driven sexually. The man was a wet dream god.
I would’ve liked something more from Arsen other than sex. He seemed to be defined by his great sexcapades with women.
Mia took a different approach at cheating that isn’t touched upon very often. Usually individuals cheat because they’ve fallen out of love. Not in this case. Cathy is in love with her husband and continues with the facade of the happily married couple. Yet, she craves a different touch. In this case, it’s Cathy who has fallen out of love with herself. She no longer believes in herself to fulfill her role as Ben’s wife, yet without explaining it to her husband she throws caution to the wind and gives in to temptation. Arsen becomes her drug of choice to drown her empty soul into for the duration of their affair. He was everything she needed in that pivotal moment. While Ben was the reminder of how she failed as a woman.
It was difficult viewing Cathy as a vessel for these two men. It seemed the only thing these guys possessed was her body.
I’m speechless. Mia laid out all of my concerns leaving me with nothing but confusion. It’s an intoxicating forbidden love triangle of ownership. Mia toyed with my emotions.
I don’t have a hold on love the way these characters do, so I’m not understanding that type of madness.
Mia was blatantly honest. It’s raw and painful to read at times. She crossed that moral line so many times my heart was about to explode.
I toyed with 4 stars because to be fair, I disliked Cathy immensely through most of the book. I have no problem with the subject matter…I can easily see how it happens and sometimes you have so much pain, you can’t see the forest for the trees. The reason I went to 5 stars was because towards the last third of the book, when Cathy finally steps up to the plate, when she realizes she needs to finally make a decision, my heart was in my throat. I could feel her pain of course, but I could also feel Ben’s pain AND Arsen’s pain. All three of these people were broken, maybe beyond repair. Mia Asher allowed me to not only feel Cathy’s pain but finally feel some empathy toward her despite how I felt she acted truly childish and unfairly sometimes. And for me that is the sign of a good writer…that although I may not agree with the decisions made, the actions taken or even some of the inner dialogue, I was able to come away from this really difficult story, feeling both emotionally drained and somehow enlightened.
Someone please bring me a cupcake! *tears*
This is one of those types of stories that will be forever burned into your soul. Etched into your mind. I have this feeling, years from now, the echoes of the pain I endured while reading this broken love story will haunt me when I least expect them to.
“You cannot expect to play with fire and not get burned. I did. And now I’m incinerated.” – Cathy
It’s been almost 5 years since I first heard about this book called ARSEN. I wanted to read it bc of all the hype and rave it got, but I was also scared to death to jump into an emotional rollercoaster such as this particular story. You see, 5 yrs ago, books with cheating were my “hard limit”. I avoided them like the plague, but THIS BOOK kept popping up in my mind, on Facebook, and in conversation every so many months. Well, I FINALLY decided to take the plunge. Who cares if my heart gets ripped to shreds? Who cares if I throw my phone in the process of reading it? Who cares if I’m irrevocably changed forever at the end of this?
Because it was finally time for me to dive in head first. Not even testing the waters first.
“Falling in love with someone is easy, it’s loving when the newness is worn off, when life gets tough, when things get in the way, when physical passion is gone, that true love remains. When love can conquer it all.” – Cathy.
This book was like having a dagger speared into my heart… over and over and over and over again. Each chapter was INTENSE. Each encounter was UTTERLY PAINFUL. Because I knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy ride. I knew someone, if not everyone (myself included) was going to left heartbroken. Nothing about this story was easy. I knew that every decision was going to have its consequence and with every decision, my heart bled a little more. It was a trainwreck I couldn’t look away from.
My heart ached for Cathy. She deserved more. My heart broke for Ben He deserved better. My heart grew for Arsen. He deserved happiness.
They ALL deserved happiness.
At the end of this book (I listened to the audio, which I’m thankful for bc I’m guessing if I had to READ it, it would’ve taken me more than the 2 days it took me to listen to it), I felt a bittersweet kind of happiness. I can’t say I loved this book because f*ck it was P-A-I-N-F-U-L. I definitely can’t even say I even enjoyed it because how can one enjoy this type of story??? BUT I can say I understood the journey it took me on and meaning behind it. “MARRIAGE IS WORK!” -ARSEN.
Mia’s writing and storytelling was beyond compelling and addictive. It was a drug. One I couldn’t stop. Every chapter was a stronger dose because apparently I was building a tolerance and needed a stronger hit the farther I got into it. It’s been a couple days since I finished listening to it and my heart and mind r still so torn! They’re in constant battle and not allowing me to be content. I want to be happy! I want to see that everything ended as it should, but DAMN, there’s times I wished it went another way. I wished there dishonesty. Less betrayal. LESS PAIN. But then we wouldn’t have this broken story. And even as I write this, I know, I KNOW, deep down, that it ended exactly how it should’ve, even if it hurt my heart to get there and I wasn’t 100% happy with it. Cathy got her HEA, but at what cost? That’s the hard part… AT WHAT COST???
I applaud Mia, especially because this was her DEBUT novel. What a way to enter the romance world! She definitely has written a love triangle like NO OTHER and I’m sorry it took me THIS long to read it. I can definitely see how this story was so controversial and why reviewers were having a difficulty rating this book, but just the writing alone was worth 4.5 stars. And man, if you’re willing to look deeper, passed the betrayal, dishonesty and downright horrible things that Cathy did, and see all the hurt, pain and anger Cathy is experiencing and truly see the deeper story, u will understand this book. The reason for the half star is I wasn’t 100% pleased with the ending.
“Is love a strong enough glue to put me back together again?” – Cathy.
**Be warned, if blatant cheating without remorse is a hard limit for u, continue with caution bc this book has that in spades. I mean it says so in the blurb after all.
Probably some spoilers below so read at your own risk!
For starters, Ms. Asher did a phenomenal job with a subject not many want to write about. I for one LOVE to read books with cheating – not sure why, but I love all the angst around it. This one was a hard one for me – you now in your heart that this scenario happens all the time. The miscarriages, IVF – all of it – devastating to couples and some just don’t come back from that kind of pain. Our main Character Cathy turns to Arsen – several years younger than her, but a shoulder to cry on after suffering from more than one miscarriage. Friendship that turns out to be so much more. I hated her. There I said it, I initially sympathized with her, but ended up hating her.
Cathy’s husband Ben – he was almost too perfect – you see his facade start to crack once he catches on to what’s been going on right in front of him. He loved her heart and soul and she destroyed him. I cringed when he let her have it, but man did she deserve everything and more.
Arsen – while immature and jealous at times, I liked him the best. I wasn’t happy with how he pursued and flirted with Cathy. He took advantage of her at a very vulnerable time but was able to give her what Ben couldn’t. At least in Cathy’s messed up mind.
I’m not going to get into much more than that – the ending has a twist and I HATED IT!!! The cheater wins…that doesn’t happen often. She was an awful person and didn’t deserve either Arsen or Ben…but alas, it’s a book, not real life.
I have no words for how good this book was. It is a must read.
Wonderful, nail-biting, head-shaking, unputdownable and sexy! Yes I felt so much. This story pushed my limits and I loved it. Almost immediately I was vested into the story and characters. I don’t know that I’ve ever fallen in love so fast or hated so fast. WOW! is what I thought throughout the book.
This is one of those stories that will stay with me. I recommend!
Overall this story is raw, real and honest. It’s beautifully written and I thank the author.
I love it! re-read
Years on after reading this and It still sticks with me. An unforgettable love triangle.
A roller-coaster read of emotions!
My heart was bumping at some points. I felt sorry for Arsen and felt sorry for Ben I sympathized with Catherine I was all over the place but I absolutely loved it.
~ SIX STARS! ~
As I sit down to write this, my head is still spinning. Seriously…..like, I can’t even begin to explain to you what this book did to me. I will certainly TRY, but the depth of my emotion and shock and wow cannot be conveyed in a suitable manner. I will just put it out there…..my review will NOT do this book justice. You know what the crazy part is? THIS WAS HER DEBUT NOVEL!!! It’s not often a book can bring out such deep emotion…..DEEEEP emotion. Yes, we feel emotions while reading a book, but magnify all your emotions by 100 and you might tip the iceberg at that point. Might. This book went into the pits and pulled it all out. I want to tell you everything and watch you read it. I want to be there for you to talk to and I want to hear your thoughts…..I want to relive this story over and over and over again. I want to unread it and read it again. The roller coaster, the ups and downs, the pain and heartache, the joy and elation…..I want it all again. I have NEVER felt this with another book. Ever.
*shaking my head* — STILL
Cathy and Ben are soul mates. They were made only for each other. They were the loves of each other’s lives. Sure, we see this often…..but the way this relationship started out, it was the most perfect beginning for their relationship. The moment they met, there was something that was definitely pulling them together. It was an intense attraction….an immediate attraction. Her beauty, inside and out, captured Ben and he was smitten. Their love was what fairytales were made of. They loved with all they had…..with everything in them. They had fun and they were hot together.
“Um, Cathy…if you start kissing my neck like that, there is a 110% chance that I’m going to jump you like a fucking starved man and rip this pretty little thing you have on.” ~Ben
Arsen doesn’t have to work for anything….he has the looks to bed any woman he wants, he has the family money to do whatever he wants and he has the attitude to not give a fuck. And that is Arsen. He will do anything to get what he wants…..always has, always will. He knows how to take care of a woman….and does a fine job of it, until he finds a new toy. He is just a young, carefree, sexy as hell man.
“His smile is electrifying. His smile frightens me. His smile hypnotizes me.”
Sadly, Cathy was breaking down, slowly but surely. We start to see her become very bitter, very spiteful and very angry. She was falling into a deep depression from something that SHE had no control over, yet it was controlling her…..and it was tearing her apart. I ached for her….I wanted to comfort her. But, I also found myself wanting to shake her and ask her ‘What the Hell!!??’ She has this amazing husband that would crawl to the ends of the earth and back, just to do anything and everything for her….but she was pulling away. Arsen was there to pick her up…..he was there as her ‘friend’. However, his definition of friend and her definition of friend did not match up. Not one bit. I felt like someone that was watching something sooooo good, but I couldn’t look away. I knew it was wrong but it felt so right. I just wanted to watch what happened and how it all went down…..but covering one eye, shaking my head. I was so engrossed in this book…so wrapped up. It seriously jacked me up.
William Shakespeare said that the eyes are the windows to your soul. When our eyes connect, I see danger, and maybe something exciting. Something forbidden. Some basic instinct in me instantly recognizes that this man doesn’t make love to a woman.
He fucks her.
Arsen and Cathy meld together really well. They are connected immediately….there is no get-to-know-you period. It is immediate. Their sexcapades are definitely ones for the record books. He woke her up….he set her on fire and made her feel alive, from the inside out. He turned her OUT! Thinking about their intimate times…..they are HOT. Scorching hot…..so very sexy and delicious and demanding and on FIRE. OMG. Just thinking about what he did and how she felt….I felt it too. I’m tellin’ ya. Eff’n HOT!!!!
So many warring thoughts are running through my head; fear, dislike, shock, but the voice that is the loudest is lust. ~Cathy
There is a fine line that is toed on in this book….and the innocence and the salaciousness of this book is mixed so very well, you are literally shaking your head. What started out as something so trivial and innocent (so the wrong word, but so very true), turned into something so magnanimous and so powerful, it destroyed lives.
Now, reading their stories, Mia did a phenomenal job making you FEEL the elation, the pain, the happiness, the sorrow, the giddiness, the aching, ALL of it, plus the raw sexual tension between these lovers. I didn’t read it….I felt it. I felt it ALL. I am ruined. RUINED. I will forever be comparing angsty, sexually tensioned, emotionally driven stories to this one. My heart shattered on so many different levels…..to try to explain it to someone who hasn’t read it is attempting the impossible. I am so very glad I had a friend that I was messaging the entire time I read this book. I needed that lifeline….someone to work out my feelings with, someone who had already been thrown against the proverbial wall and was back up again, able to discuss it with me. I am on a mission to have people read this. This was raw. This was gritty. This was real and this broke me…..and I don’t think I want to be fixed. This was perfection in a book.
I got this book immediately after it came out….so I have had it for a while. I finally read it. I would like to say that I wished I read it sooner. But then again, I am glad it took me this long because I read this book at the most opportune time for me, and I was allowed to let this book sit and percolate within me. I was able to just absorb the words in this book, soak them in. I was able to feel the pain and love and every other emotion you can possibly imagine. I have no words…..no words. And for the record, Mia has planted herself on my “no questions asked, purchase any book she writes” list. Because, if she can do THAT with her first book…..imagine what she can do as she lets more stories flow. I may love Mia. I’ll get back to you on that.
This book had EVERY single thing I love in a really good book: angst, hot alpha(s), undying love, love triangle and true to life, REAL emotion.
6 Mind blowing, heart wrenching, nail biting stars.
~BEE