“I lived for Wednesdays. Every other day of the week was something that stood between the two of us. I lay awake at night thinking up ways to change that. I went over and over how to approach her in my head, and nothing seemed to work. I knew that it needed to be fate again. If it were fate, then I wouldn’t feel like I manipulated the situation. Then I wouldn’t be to blame if it all went wrong. … wrong. So until fate would bring us together again, I lived for Wednesdays.”
Meet Cameron Metzger as he stands on the cusp of age twenty and reflects on his life as an underachieving hopeless romantic. He vividly recalls first cars and first kisses with sentimental sadness as he learns to cope with the suffocating secret that he kept hidden for years.
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Reading Nineteen by Arly Carmack was a bit of a change for me. A “coming of age” novel from the perspective of a guy and written by a female author…interesting! The stereotype mold has been broken.
Camron reflects back on his life at the age of 19…his sexual exploits and his place in his family. There is a driving secret that is moving this story of Cameron’s life. I guessed it early on; but that’s not the point. There’s another secret. Cameron’s secret. Cameron knows that he isn’t a real part of the family and he has come to accept it. It is what it is as he trudges through his mundane and useless life. Searching for love. Searching for acceptance. Searching for something.
Arly Carmack is a master character builder. She built, honed and groomed every single character with expert precision. Every character introduced had a purpose, a role to play in the grand scheme of it all. Not one character is superfluous. Who did I love the most? Mario! Even with all of his faults and flaws, perhaps that is the very reason I loved him. Even the Metzger family is a character. Then Carmack slowly breaks and chisels the family down to individual characters. I really didn’t like Doug, though. He comes off as a “do gooder” good son; but he does eventually shows some redeeming qualities in the end.
The building of Cameron’s world is meticulously developed and the flow has real lifes up and downs making the story believable…making you want to turn the page and the next and next till there’s no more pages to turn and you find yourself staring at the very last page.
This book was raw, emotional and engrossing. It was raw almost to the point of being uncomfortable, in the way life sometimes is. This isn’t my usual genre and I’m so glad I branched out. I’m looking forward to next book!
This was a good read!
I love the style of how this book opened capturing readers and engaging from the first page. This is a new style of storytelling that I’ve experienced giving a softer side of the teenage years with true and relatable emotions.
“To really be in love, you have to let it hurt sometimes.”
Nineteen truly covers that strange gap in life between adolescence and adulthood and Carmack nails it on the head. She writes of a boy who feels out of place in his own life; misunderstood, often directionless, carried about by loveless “love” until something good comes along, an unconventional love with a woman who is older than him, one that his parents disapprove of. Nineteen pretty adequately describes the emotional turmoil of grief and regret, and the ways that humans deal with these things. Cameron, the main character, is incredibly likable, and I would have liked to have seen some sort of a resolution to his truly strange, awkward family situation. What I can appreciate is how true to life that can be, and I think that, as much as fiction can be an escape, this was a story that was not only interesting to read and the characters were well-developed, it goes to show that real life is sticky and messy and complicated. Cameron is a romantic and that is something that makes you like him. He believes in real love and beauty and you can’t help but to relate to him and to root for him. He learns that he doesn’t need to “fit in” with his family , he just needs to accept them, whatever that may look like. This is definitely a coming of age story and it is worth the read!
You need to pick this debut to embark the journey that lies ahead. Kudos to Carmack for writing this
An emotional read that will stay with you long after you have finished it, and I mean it, it will affect you.
If i simply has to use a word to describe this utterly strong book I would choose the word “beautiful” because it simply is.
Emotional and gritty along with sober writing style, the themes and the book itself is realistic and embodies realism and life.
First person narration puts you in deep connection with the character as well as the story giving you more inner view.
I would give this book 5 stars (wish I could give more) and definitely recommend to all the readers out there especially to mature teens.
I have read many coming of age books and along with Steph’s perks this will stay close to my heart forever
This isn’t the type of book I normally read. But something convinced me to give it a try, and I’m glad I did. I enjoyed it a lot – reading the whole thing in only 2 days!
Although there were aspects of the story I struggled with (the first person POV, the almost stream of consciousness-like narration, the time jumps between past and present, the short chapters, and dialogue that seemed stilted at times), the story itself was so compelling that once I got past the first chunk of exposition, I found myself unable to stop reading as I was drawn into the world that Arly Carmack painted vividly around Cameron, the protagonist.
There were a few big secrets I figured out early on, but the reveal of them was achingly good, and I got a bit teary eyed when reading how everything was handled.
I appreciated the fact that the novel – while mature – was not graphically explicit, and dealt with sensitive subjects in a thoughtful and tender way.
The characters all felt very real and down to earth, like I could have known them when I was back in highschool, which made the story quite relatable. Cameron’s personal growth and character arc was very well done, and it was satisfying to see the other characters also evolving alongside him. The novel is titled “Nineteen” but very easily could have been called “Metamorphosis.”
Overall, a rather poignant story that will linger on my mind for quite sometime, especially given the ending!!! I’m rather relieved to find out there is a sequel in the works – I look eagerly forward to reading that one as well!
4.5 stars.
A bittersweet coming of age story. Very well written. It took me a little while to get attached to Cameron, the protagonist in this story, and I don’t always enjoy a first person POV, but I’m glad that I picked up this book and stuck with it. Once the story got rolling, I couldn’t put it down. There were many sad and poignant moments that pulled at my heartstrings as I watched Cameron wade through his journey of self discovery. Carmack took on a lot of hard subjects we don’t often see from the male perspective and I truly appreciate the beautiful way she did it. I was rooting for Cameron the whole time, right up to the shocking, cliffhanger ending.
Almost the whole book is sad events that read like a diary. The main character Cameron is so loveable though that you have to just keep reading. So many times I wanted to smack the supporting characters for the way they treat Cameron. He’s a complex character, always giving people the benefit of the doubt. He knows he’s different than his siblings, his parents see him as a failure and love has never gone his way. The book ends on a major cliffhanger. I’m rooting for Cameron so of course I’ll be reading the second book!
An emotional roller-coaster.
Oh this book was hard for me. I read it sight unseen, didn’t read the blurb first, just jumped in on the recommendation of a friend. Love the cover and the vibe.
I will admit, initially I wasn’t sure it was my cup of tea, I wasn’t sure where it was going, I wasn’t sure if I loved the main character, Cameron, I was uncomfortable with the setup of his backstory, and I felt like there were a LOT of potential storylines being built.
And then Arly Carmack started to weave the story, and suddenly for me, the different story lines took on life and shape and I started to feel each of the characters.
This story is a heavy dose of reality, I struggled with the ending, I was near tears a couple of times, and the hits just kept on coming. All that said, I’m glad that I read it. The storytelling is on point. It is well-written. It is thought provoking, and sometimes that is exactly what I need.
Would definitely recommend, look forward to the next installment.
There’s something exciting—and hard to describe—in the pages of this book. The main character, Cameron Metzger (beginning at age 16 and progressing into his 20s), not only came vibrantly alive in my mind as a palpable, believable person, his thoughts and personality felt as if they co-existed inside me independently. This phenomenon continued straight to the final pages as Cameron struggled to cope with the “trials and tribulations” of growing up straight and smart and sincere in a dog-eat-dog world. I lived some of this life and I will attest to the veracity of emotion to be found on Nineteen’s pages. Being a teenager is tough on all of us—and we all have to go over many hills and valleys before we can talk about it sensibly—but it’s never been tougher than it is now to go through it. Young people used to suffer from coping with not being able to get what their hormones were screaming for. Now the problems come from the process of actually achieving physical satisfaction and the consequences that follow it. When young men didn’t get this satisfaction they just didn’t get it, but now young men are faced with the problems that come when they’re the thing that got “got.” Carmack understands this, and she understands it from inside a young, male mind. How? I have no idea, but she does. So, if you think that a woman can’t write from inside a boy’s mind, here’s where you can prove yourself wrong. Just be aware going in—she can see things most male authors wouldn’t. Some things here, therefore, might be a revelation to a male reader. A male reader might be forced into a revisionist stance on his own past or present life.
There’s no need to go into plot points when there’s a perfectly adequate book description of Nineteen available, and other reviews around various sites that make those points. This is a hard book to discuss without spoilers, and if you come across one, it won’t have leaked from my pen. It’s enough for me to praise the sincerity, integrity, and craftsmanship that went into this undertaking. I give the writer, who is giving us her first novel, a lot of credit. The settings are perfectly visual, and the characterizations of the supporting players go beyond spot-on. Everything here is strikingly believable and deeply convincing. Carmack wisely tells a story where there are no real villains, just flawed families, and less than romantic romances. It was much more interesting because of that. So, take a chance on this book. You have nothing to lose and a lot to remember. Unless you are less than 16 to 19, in which case, this is a tarot reading of your possible future.
I want to give this refreshing, “real-life feeling,” beautifully written novel an 8 out of 5! I absolutely loved young Cameron Metzger.
This sweet, decent young man seemed very real to me. He behaves and speaks almost exactly as my own brothers did, growing up, except that Cameron had way more emotional maturity! (Sorry, bros!)
Cameron has all the same hormonal urges as every other young teen, but he discovers early on that sex for him isn’t satisfying unless there is an element of love involved as well. What a rare and wonderful ideal to possess in this, as Cameron puts it, “over-sexed” generation.
Cameron feels used and guilty when he loses his virginity to a girl, Stephanie, who won’t acknowledge him at school because he isn’t “cool” enough. When Stephanie becomes pregnant and demands that he pay for her abortion, his sensitive soul searches for other options, but he ultimately caves in to her demands. His next two relationships are just as unsatisfying or toxic, and he begins to equate sex with pain and unhappiness. I started feeling very protective of this sweet, highly emotional young fellow. Cameron really is too sensitive and caring for the rough and tumble environment of high school – and life in general.
There is also a huge disconnect between Cameron and his family. His siblings are about 20 years older than he is and he believes that his Dad hates him. His Dad always suspected that Cameron was gay and/or high on drugs. (Ironically, Cameron didn’t even drink when he lived with his parents!) He feels unsupported by his family and has few real friends.
But things change when Cameron’s father forces him to move out. Fortunately, fate finally seems to be taking a hand in redirecting Cameron’s life when he answers an ad in the local paper, placed by older woman (Lisa) that he has a crush on. (She is a frequent customer in the grocery shop where he works.) For sure, Cameron decides then and there that a relationship with Lisa was meant to be, and he happily moves into the small rental unit above her garage.
What impressed me about Cameron was his ability to see beyond their age difference (she is 32 to his 19) and the scars on her body (from her abusive marriage). Both Cameron and Lisa have been damaged by their previous sexual partners, both physically and mentally. I enjoyed the slow but steady evolution of their mutually supportive friendship. Cameron’s relationship with Lisa’s son, Tommy, was another example of Cameron’s very loving nature.
I love how Cameron tries, often unsuccessfully, to play cupid for his friends and for his sister, Laura. Cameron is such a positive character – he wants everyone around him to be happy. I loved watching Cameron grow from an uncertain 16 year old to a more self-assured 20 year old in this story.
And for all of you “twist” lovers out there, there is certainly a huge one in this novel. Many of you will see it coming, but Cameron is devastated by this big reveal.
And of course, this story ends on a major cliff hanger. There is a sequel planned (working title: Twenty-one) according to the author’s web page. Normally, I stay away from serialized books, but if the serial is as well written as Nineteen was, it will be so worth the wait!
This book was on a promotional sale at the time of this review, so I would encourage everyone to add this book to their TBR pile. It is so inspirational and the writing is so beautiful and lyrical. I know I will be rereading this story again, which is why I bought my own copy, despite having received a free digital ARC from NetGalley. Promising authors like Arly Carmack deserve to be supported and encouraged. I am so looking forward to her next novel! Highly, highly recommended!