“I could make up a story to cover the last eight years, but the scars on my arms told the truth. So did the ones on my ankles, the skin between my toes, even the veins that had burst on my breasts. Did my battle wounds really prove I was a survivor? Or was I too damaged to be glued back together?”Nicole had only one skyline to remind her of the freedom she’d lost—a tattoo of inked buildings, … buildings, crisscrossed by scars. Heroin had owned her, replaced everyone and everything she’d once loved. The past was supposed to be behind her…but it wasn’t.
Two men love her; one fills a void, and the other gives her hope of a future. Will love find a way to help her sing a lullaby to addiction, or will her scars be her final good-bye?
Reader Caution: A harrowing story of addiction, this novel contains graphic scenes, explicit language, and disturbing situations. Recommend for mature audiences.
more
What is Good for my Sobriety ?
Hanging out with my friends who smoke weed ?
Choosing drugs over life?
Going to rehab ?
Listening to my friends and family?
Letting them help me, before they died due to my addiction, one by one ?
These are some questions which , had she addressed them on time, wouldn’t have made Nicole’s life so full of grief and regrets now.
Heroin’s high was magical, but life was starting to taste a whole lot better.We gave up everything for our addiction—including the truth—even with other junkies.
Now she focuses on other questions
Mark or Asher ?
One is a safe place, the other her pillar
I think if WE ask this question at every step of our lives where we have to choose between our NEEDS and WANTS , it could lessen our problems. What is good for US and Sobriety of our minds and bodies ?
Asher was an addition to my recovery, not a substitution for my addiction.
Asher was a goid man , But Mark was better
She is at war with the consequences of her actions of the past. Her guilt, sadness, 12-step programme, her sober-house, is not enough to bring Michael back from the dead , but she tries her level best to stop the line of drug-casualties around her.
There were always repercussions from addiction. Some got HIV or Hep C from sharing needles; some developed health problems because drugs had ruined their bodies. There were girls, like me, who caused a miscarriage because they injected too much. Then there were those who died either from accidental overdose or as an indirect result, like Sunshine getting beaten to death and left in a garbage can.
Alas ! Tiffany, Sunshine , Henry are snatched by the Dragon”s fire. Cale and Dustin are Devil’s Dragons too, they put her right back to where she started. But a great warrior princess that she is , Nicole yet again climbs the mountain of recovery.
She is fortunate to be helped and supported unconditionally by Asher, Mark, Her parents, Tiffany too actually , Alison, Al , Jimi and Michael and Claire in spirit.
I’m still in shock over the end though. I wish Marni had given this hope a chance , to inspire other readers that road to recovery DOES end in Flowers AND rainbows. That’s my only peeve. Nicole was a ‘survive’or .
My heart broke into two, none of my pieces fit. But I would highly recommend everyone to read this book. Tell your kids to read it.
Your neighbours, friends, family members. To really understand that the REAL struggle is not going to rehab, but to fight relapse and temptation.
Every. Single. Day !
The reformed addicts have to look over their shoulder, try to fit in a perfect society with their deformed bodies and souls,
Marni has logged an extraordinary account of addict’s life . The horrors, the degeneration, the sharp claws that this vile substance digs into users mind, body and soul and they feel it every time they breathe, for the rest of their life.
I’ve started looking at my sarrounding world in a different light after I read this book. Thank you so much Marni. My prejudices , bias and judgements are all thrown away like a junkies life.
Because they deserve compassion and support from us
Sobriety was a decision; we had to fight our disease and take away its power.All of us here have worked too damn hard to stay sober; we don’t deserve to be judged.
I’ve become an Official #MarniJunkie now.
I’ve no hope !!!!!
The first book in this duet just about destroyed me, yet I have been eager to read the second book.
From the very start I was on the journey of sobriety along with Nicole. Mann’s writing is so powerful that I felt every urge and craving with her. The dark hand of addicition was constantly reaching up from out of the abyss and I so wanted Nicole to stay strong.
I was on edge with every internal struggle that she had. I could practically feel every impulse and need along with her.
As she worked hard to move on from the past, there were constant reminders and temptations to be overcome. I felt for her and was so proud of her every time that she took another step forward. This book was incredible in the ways it made me feel from page to page.
Even as things improved, there was still pain and loss, and yet Nicole’s strength and support network gave me hope.
When her past came crashing back in constant unexpected ways, I could barely breathe. This book and its words and story were powerful and held me rapt as I raced forward to see how things would conclude.
The ending was shocking and crushed me, and yet there was still a beauty there to be acknowledged.
Mann’s writing is so incredibly complex and I hold these stories close to my heart.