It Isn’t Cheating If He’s Dead

When I left my current book at home one day and needed something to read on my break at work, I turned to my Kindle app and decided to read the book that had been on it the longest. I don’t read a lot of digital books as I prefer holding an actual book in my hands, but this book just reminded me of why I should turn to my Kindle app more often!

For four years Jem has been living in stasis, ever since her fiance walked out of the house one day and disappeared. I don’t mean she’s just lying around her house doing nothing, she’s an attorney and does go to work every day. But she’s also waiting. Waiting for Gerald to come home, or be found, or something. Until the waiting is over, and the mourning can begin.

Finn is the detective who has been investigating Gerald’s disappearance for the past four years. Once a week, Finn comes to Jem’s home for an update meeting, where they talk about Gerald and the case. I thought it was a bit unusual for a detective to put that much time into a missing person case, especially four years down the road. But later, I understood Finn’s motivation.

Gerald had schizophrenia, and while Jem deals with the aftermath of Gerald’s death – and his mother, who refused to believe he had schizophrenia – we learn more and more about him and how that affected both their lives. Jem actually saw him at a park one day, where a lot of homeless people hung out, and he ran from her. After that she began making sandwiches every morning and taking them to the park to hand out to the homeless population, some of whom became treasured friends. Their situation isn’t glorified, the narrative mentions occasionally how bad they smell, for instance, but since Jem only sees and interacts with them for an hour or so in the morning, the narrative doesn’t go into much detail about what their lives are like. It does, however, dwell quite a bit on the schizophrenia aspect, as Jem muses about past incidents and memories of life with Gerald, and it was a bit fascinating.

When a new fellow shows up at the park, sitting against a tree, refusing to talk, Jem is drawn to him. He becomes her mission. To find out who he is, what brought him to the streets, who might be looking for him. Slowly, slowly, she begins to break through his barriers, and form a friendship. Finally learns his story, and schemes to reunite him with his family. The resolution to that story line had me in tears.

As Jem embarks on a relationship with Finn, she begins to look at her past life with Gerald differently, realizing how much she became wrapped up in his life, and not living her own life. She still loves Gerald, still cries occasionally. But Finn helps bring her back to herself. I gotta tell you, I adored Finn. So much.

For all that the subject matter is deep, the narrative is still a bit lighthearted. The writing is easy, almost simplistic, but engaging. I really enjoyed this book.

After your fiance is found dead, four years after he’s gone missing… it’s time to get on with life, right? Maybe with the red-hot police detective who pursued the case?

Except, her fiance was murdered for reasons unknown. And then there’s this homeless young man in a nearby park with haunting eyes… Get ready for sleepless nights as you say “Just one more chapter.”

I was hooked from the first chapter… This is the first book I’ve read by Julie Frayn—and it won’t be the last!