Could she ever share the secret of The Awful Year? There is one story that novelist Josephine Bourdillon shirked from writing. And now she may never have a chance. Trapped in her memories, she lies in a coma.The man who put her there is just as paralyzed. Former soldier Henry Hughes failed to complete the kill. What’s more: he never received full payment–funds that would ensure surgery for his … that would ensure surgery for his son.
As detectives investigate disturbing fan letters, a young but not-so-naïve Paige Bourdillon turns to her mother’s turbulent past for answers. Could The Awful Year be worse than the one they’re living now?
Set against the flaming hills of North Carolina and the peaceful shores of the Mediterranean Sea, When I Close My Eyes tells the story of two families struggling with dysfunction and finding that love is stronger than death.
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I enjoy Elizabeth Musser’s novels because they’re something deeper than most Christian fiction.
They’re not afraid to ask tough questions, and When I Close my Eyes is no exception. The start of the novel a little confusing until I realised who the three viewpoint characters were, and why some portions were in italics.
Henry’s son needs his fourth major surgery in seven years, but there’s no money to pay for it. So Henry takes a cash job that will pay a lot … to shoot author Josephine Bourdillon. No, Henry isn’t a hit man. He’s just normal man who loves his son and would do anything for him to be well.
Paige is Josephine’s sassy sixteen-year-old daughter. She’s not a Christian, even though she knows her mother’s novels have strong themes of faith and forgiveness. I liked Paige. She was intelligent, thoughtful, and wise beyond her years. Despite being a teenager, she’s the one who holds the family together in many ways. She also helps the police by going through her mother’s letters and other writing in an effort to find out who is behind the shooting.
Josephine is the third point of view character, but her scenes are shown in italics because they’re not the present story (in which she’s unconscious). They’re snippets of her memories—some good, some not. It’s confusing, because the memories flit around in time, but that makes sense when we realise they are the memories of a woman in a coma.
There are two questions running behind the story. First (for me) is the question of who wants Josephine dead. The reader knows Henry is was the guy with the gun, but he’s not the person who wants Josephine dead. He just wants his son alive, and who can fault him for that? Sure, we can agree his method of getting the money for his son’s operation isn’t great. But is motive is strong and believable, and he’s close enough to the edge that I’m convinced he believed this was the only way. So he’s a sympathetic character. We want him to succeed. Except succeeding means Josephine Bourdillon would be dead, and we don’t want that.
The other question is about The Awful Year, as Paige refers to it. We don’t know what The Awful Year was, or when it was. All we know is that it was so awful, Josephine can’t think about it or write about it, and Paige barely knows what happened. All she knows is that it was awful. Do the events of The Awful Year have anything to do with what’s happening now?
Well, those questions certainly kept me turning the pages. This is probably one of those novels that need to be read and reread to fully appreciate.
Overall, When I Close My Eyes is one of the best novels I’ve read this year, a unique story of forgiveness that deals with some tough issues, including mental illness. The writing is brilliant, the plot and characters are unique, and it’s close to perfect Christian women’s fiction (with a strong dose of suspense). Recommended.
Thanks to Bethany House Publishers and NetGalley for providing a free ebook for review.
Wow. That . . . was actually really good.
When I Close My Eyes couldn’t really keep me hooked at first. I mean, it took me an entire month to get the whole thing read.
Henry’s point of view was slightly difficult to read, as he was your typical hillbilly giant, and nearly impossible to connect with. Yet his love for Jase and his struggle to let his son know that he really did love him was endearing. As more of Henry’s story comes out, the more you feel like you can understand why he doesn’t know how to show affection.
Paige’s point of view was drastically different from Henry’s, needless to say. Her struggles with belief in God, her stubbornness to keep holding on, her fear of the unknown . . . and Drake. (That’s his name? I can’t remember #oops) Their relationship was actually really sweet and I enjoyed it a lot. (Until they finally started kissing. #ew)
But my favorite point of view was Josephine’s. The flashbacks as she lay in a coma in a hospital bed, starting when she was a little girl and continuing until she had little girls of her own. Her depression, the black ‘hole’ in her head, The Motte. Patrick.
Overall, When I Close My Eyes was a super good book, and I’d definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a heartrending yet uplifting read!
*I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley. All thoughts are my own.
Heart wrenching:
What an amazing book! It grabbed my attention from the very beginning and I had to hang on for a roller coaster ride of plot twists and emotional angst. I loved the beautiful writing style with deeply describe sentences. Whilst there were different timelines and triple points of view, it still flowed well. The characters were all authentic, facing real life emotions and struggles and I found myself rooting for them all, including the “villian”.
The story was rather tragic and heart wrenching but it was simultaneously poignant and quite beautiful as it explored some deep truths. There was mystery and intrigue surrounding ‘The Awful Year’ and I wanted to just keep on reading in order to find out how everything would be resolved.
I felt the author dealt with the issues of depression and PTSD honestly and respectfully. It was especially touching reading in the author’s notes about her own struggles with depression and that must be why it felt so real and touching in the novel. Thank you to Ms. Musser for being willing to be so open and transparent in order to shed light on this issue.
So whilst this book was quite sad and tragic, it was also about hope, grace, forgiveness and mercy. It showed how we have to completely surrender to God’s grace and redemptive mercy but when we do there is freedom to truly live in Christ.
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review. All opinions expressed are solely my own.
I could not stop reading this book! Thank you Elizabeth Musser for incorporating the seriousness of depression with candor and hope. I think you are so brave for writing this story. The characters are so real, the story line so believable, and the touch of suspense kept me reading into the early hours of the morning. I highly recommend it to all story lovers, anyone needing extra grace, and especially to anyone who suffers from depression, or anyone who loves someone who suffers. Well done.
Thank you to Bethany House and Net Galley for the early copy of When I close my Eyes. All opinions are my own.
This is a powerful book about living with depression, creativity/art, forgiveness, family relationships, love, sacrifice… In many ways it reads like a murder mystery, with multiple suspects, red herrings, clues slipped in here and there, and an unexpected solution.
One of the main character’s daughters says “Momma writes truth in a way that gets into people’s hearts,” and I find that sums up Elizabeth Musser’s writing for me. This may not be an easy book to read, but it is worth reading. I highly recommend it!
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Publishing Group through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.