I’ve been a b****. I know this. It’s not something that I’m particularly proud of and it’s not something that I had intended to stop being. At least, I hadn’t until recently. I got what older people call “a taste of my own medicine.” I don’t think I deserved that taste. I have lived through a disgustingly dirty sea of pain and horror. I wanted others to feel that pain, know that fear. People … would understand better if they knew my story. Sable probably wouldn’t care after everything that I did to her, everything I put her through. I wish I would’ve had the courage to let her know what was going on, instead of being the coward I was and giving her a glimpse of my pain.
I am Jenna Nielson Turner. I am the daughter of an abusive, alcoholic mother and the product of a sexual assault or so I’m told. If that wasn’t enough, add to it one of the members of the faculty here at Boardan High School believes I am to be his personal love slave until I graduate. So, yeah, I’m a b****, but I have some pretty good reasons to be. Being that person helps me cope with the hell that is my world, not just my d*** life.
Is it possible for one that has this as the introduction to their “Who am I?” essay to be open to love and be loved? Will she be able to except what is necessary for her to change? Or will she allow the surprises that come into her pathway to be the needed excuse to be just who she describes?
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**spoiler alert** I hadn’t read first book on this series so everything from the characters to the plot was new to me.
From the start of this book I started to feel deep agression towards almost everyone than main character Jenna.
Her relationships with her family seemed to fucked up.
Her mother seemed to be living in her own dream world and drowning her sorrows to drinking and taking pills seemed to be only way for her to deal with everything and she didn’t really know how to be mother anymore. Hearing about things that had happened to her in her past made me feel bad for her and made me understand a bit the reasons behind her turning like that. I think I can relate to Jenna about her feeling towards to her mother because my own was quite the same when I was still living with her. Even though Jenna hates seeing her lose herself to the bottles of alcohol, part of her still loves her and she is confused how she can keep doing that. I was thinking while reading parts where she was that if Jenna’s father would have cared enough of her he would have gotten her to go to rehab or to see therapist of sorts. I was actually screaming once or twice that take that bitch to rehab, she’s completely nuts. Like in that part when she came to Jenna’s cheer practice drunk.
Jenna’s father seemed from the start being really cold SOB, manipulating and tricking Jenna’s mom to believe he was his bother when she had been young and done the deep so to speak. I can understand how Jenna’s mother resent him for doing so. I would even go as far and say he would have been better suited for Sable’s mom (Jenna’s aunt) who had been her BF when they were young and decieved her to believe Nathan (Jenna’s uncle) had been there to wait for her when it really was his brother. In the part where I read that certain talk he had with his lawyer made me feel really bad for Jenna.(That seems to be quite often, me feeling bad for Jenna)
I find it disgusting how little both of her parents seemed to care of her and how her father only seemed to care holding the reputation of Turner family.
Jenna seemed to have most healthy relationship with their maid Holly, I would say that she saw her as her sister or even mother at times. (Cool mother though)
From the very first moment I read about Jenna’s crew I saw how superficial they were and I just knew they would do something that would end their friendship to her. I felt bad for Jenna when she saw how Sable’s friends were celebrating her birthday in advance and I could see it how much she actually wanted to be in her place. When she finally started to make amends with her and grew friends with Fran (yes, I use that name not that other one, LOL)and others from ‘Marauders’ I started to think that there was something more bigger reason for her to get herself to be better person than she was.
Now to talk about romance in this story, I think it was very realistic how she and him acted each other and I found it sweet how he first tried to just ignore her because he had heard about how she used to be before, but I am glad that in time he started to see real Jenna. I loved the most when Jenna started to leave him those notes everywhere, I would have loved to read more about those notes.
I felt scared for Bella when she got those notes from someone (she knew who he was but I didn’t) and I actually though he might do something to her. I found it sickening when I found out who He was and how even His own wife knew about things that had happened, but most of all I felt like throwing up when I learned that Jenna’s own freaking father knew about this but kept quiet because he wanted to continue his affair with her. When Jenna’s ‘father’ finally got those test results to say that he actually was her (Jenna’s) father I laughed and thought ”In your face fucker!” And I think it was good that Jenna really didn’t care anymore how he felt.
Biggest subrise to me was Chrystal (was is written like this even?)I started to think from her reaction in the center when she had said those things to that single mother who sold her body to get her and her child money that there were more to her reaction but forgot it soon after. So when I read that she had a child my eyes almost fell from my eye sockets (doctors bill is coming to you for that Isa)
Overall to you synopsis ”I am a bitch but I have pretty good reasons to be.” I couldn’t agree more.
This story made me feel so many emotions that I might have turned to bipolar completely. I yelled to characters, mostly to Jenna’s parents. I cried to all the bad things that had happened to Jenna. I laughed for things she did with together with Fran, Holly and some others. And I loved that she got her HEA.
Thank you Isa, for writing this amazing story I loved how it made me FEEL and I can’t wait to read more.
5/5