Writer Susan Tweit and her economist-turned-sculptor husband Richard Cabe had just settled into their version of a “good life” when Richard saw thousands of birds one day—harbingers of the brain cancer that would kill him two years later. This compelling and intimate memoir chronicles their journey into the end of his life, framed by their final trip together, a 4,000-mile-long delayed honeymoon … honeymoon road trip. As Susan and Richard navigate the unfamiliar territory of brain cancer treatment and learn a whole new vocabulary—craniotomies, adjuvant chemotherapy, and brain geography—they also develop new routines for a mindful existence, relying on each other and their connection to nature, including the real birds Richard enjoys watching. Their determination to walk hand in hand, with open hearts, results in profound and difficult adjustments in their roles. Bless the Birds is not a sad story. It is both prayer and love song, a guide to how to thrive in a world where all we hold dear seems to be eroding, whether simple civility and respect, our health and safety, or the Earth itself. It’s an exploration of living with love in a time of dying—whether personal or global—with humor, unflinching courage, and grace. And it is an invitation to choose to live in light of what we love, rather than what we fear.
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Uplifting memoir about dying teaches us how to live
Susan Tweit has written a stunning, poetic book about living and walking mindfully with those who are dying; an uplifting account of the two-plus years that she and her husband Richard lived with the knowledge that he was dying of brain cancer. Uplifting because Susan lets us in not only on the times that she succeeded at her intention to “live with love” as Richard slowly succumbed to the cancer, but on the times she failed. In doing so, she accepts herself for being human, and models how to do that for all of us. We need this book, since we’ll all be taking this journey with our loved ones eventually if we have not already.
Susan, as Richard’s care-giving, Buddhist/Quaker partner, reports honestly, thoughtfully, and humorously about how she fiercely protected their time—to be in their beloved outdoors and with each other, and for Richard to sculpt—as much as possible, even as she stayed in denial about Richard’s approaching death as long as possible. As a writer, she prepares us for his death tenderly and expertly. The book’s graceful structure interweaves a three-week long-delayed honeymoon driving trip that Susan and Richard took near the end of his life, their backstory, and the progression of their lives and the disease from the time they found out he had cancer to the death we know is coming. Both Susan and Richard are so endearing that we want to travel this journey with them, cheering them both on, learning as much as we can about how to live with love with the people we are loving right now. We can find comfort in how well Susan and Richard walked into his death together, and ponder how we can also “choose to lead with our hearts and dance our best steps along the way—hard as that may be.” In their very human relationship, they show us the kind of life, and death, that is possible. I savored this book—there was so much wisdom, heart, and honest living on every page. I wanted it, and Richard’s life, to go on and on. Blessings to Susan Tweit for this gift of a memoir.
That a man dying of brain cancer would repeatedly say, “I’m a lucky guy” is a tribute to the woman who took him on a 4,000 mile road trip and then wrote about it in this beautiful memoir. It’s their love story, full of honesty, joy, and heartbreak. Woven throughout their long-delayed honeymoon road trip from Colorado to the Pacific Coast—their last precious moments of “living in a time of dying”—is the story of their beginning, three decades before, as well as their journey from initial diagnosis of cancer, through grueling treatments, to their last days together. Yes, it’s tough to read in parts, but it’s well worth it. This moving memoir has important life lessons to share and lovely writing about nature, love, and loss.
A beautifully written memoir, with great scenes of the American West, and an inspirational study in living through losing both your mother and your husband while continuing to live and love.